Have you ever fallen in love with someone who has been addicted to alcohol? Or illegal narcotics? Or porn? Or gambling?
Did you ever look back and wonder if things could have been different?
If you haven’t experienced this kind of situation then here’s some tough LOVE here, and hard sayings, which won’t necessarily please everyone. For after all, we shouldn’t write to please other people now, should we?
Here is the kind of reality check that can hurt like hell. It is very tempting to try and step in when people are suffering, but in the wrong way; because after all, whether we all like it or not, there are ways and means.
So when a woman or a man has got drawn into addictive behaviour, it’s tempting to forget that what such people need is care and friendship, and where appropriate, spiritual solidarity and medical support.
Or to put it another way:
If you plunge into a blazing fire, both of you will be burnt. But when the fire cools, then, and only and then, can you think about any even deeper love, affection and intimacy. Because only when people are well into rehabilitation or self-rehabilitation, whatever form that takes, should you even consider falling in love with someone else, even if you feel that there might be a real chance of reciprocation.
This may sound harsh, but until someone has made substantial progress along that road, whether that be months or years, it’s important to show some restraint and give the right kind of love and support and care and concern. Anything beyond that is benevolent prostitution. The road to hell, as my national poet said, is paved with good intentions. And again: hard as it may sound, we have to do better than Othello, and to love wisely, and not merely well.
True love always desires the blessedness of the other, and does not carelessly harm oneself and the one one loves in order to somehow avert harm. Someone who lacks the patience to be a friend to someone they care about in their darkest hour will never have the commitment to show an even deeper love.
Don’t forget that love is both a subjective feeling and an objective act.
People cannot live on feelings alone, because that’s like living on the interest of a minor fortune.
Sooner or later, the debts will be called in.
What will you do then?
The way of the world is to rush into love.
But YOU can be extraordinary.
Maybe one day, they will thank you for it.
And your bliss will be greater than either of you could ever have imagined…