Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 1)

Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 1)

Well hi there, people of white extraction! Have you had a good condescending, uninformed ‘splain to some poor schmuck on Medium right now?

Well, it’s about time y’all shut up, and started listening to me instead. Now, I know you have whitewashed our language here in Amuuuuuhrika, and you keep saying that we somehow ‘owe you’ these white discursive norms and white epistemological constructs like as objectivity, dispassion, evidence, logical rigor.

Just to let y’all know, us Social Justice folks…

We ain’t buying what you’re selling!

Lol! Y’all thought you could try and trick us and silence us, and commit literal violence, purely by appealing to your white language rules?

Sorry, but we’re too woke for that one. Funny how ‘logic’ and ‘reason’ are always on the side of opponents of Social Justice, not the supporters and apologists and allies of our movement.

Doesn’t that make ya think that maybe, just maybe, one of the two sides has absolutely nothing going for them?!

You people are always denying your inherent racism, which has nothing to do with your biology, and everything to do with your stupid white power structures like capitalism, democracy, white mathematics, white chemistry, white astrology, the secular-liberal-rationalist-university-industrial complex, and hegemonic structures of the appropriation of culinary artifacts.

I think it’s time you realized that when a true Social Justice evangelist comes into the room, y’all better shut up and listen.

Because there’s nothing that screams ‘angry privileged white guy’ than someone storming into the room, swinging their fists, ranting and raving, and demanding you shut your trap and listen to them instead.

The first thing you need to know about your privileged stance in the Social Justice Wars is that you need to shut up and start listening, before you have any uninformed, illogical opinions of your own, which aren’t founded on the facts, and have literally no evidence behind them.

A bit like all this junk pseudoscience of yours which associates genes with behavior; like, say, women being different from men because of their hormones.

Oh by the way, on that note: I’m intersectional, I’m proud, and I am not going away.

My bio, not that anyone cares. You don’t have to. I’m not writing this to make you feel comfortable. I mean, oppression/dogmatism/hostility to new ideas is pretty much in your DNA.

I am an intersectional queer Salafi in Manchester, Missouri. Lately, I’ve been getting interested in Quakerism and Unitarianism, because they don’t have any of the dogmatic stuff, like Episcopalians, Amish, Tibetan Buddhists, all this stuff.

I nearly graduated in 2014, but my straight white Christian borderline Republican male professors failed me because nuclear physics was too white, and he said that decolonizing it was ‘inappropriate.’ I told them that if he didn’t respect diversity of ideas, then that was on him!

OK, so let’s get started.

Spicy Food

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! WTF, WHITE PEOPLE?! Look at you vanilla folks puffing and panting even after a light Kumijah Dopazal. (Sorry, do I need to spell that out carefully for you? KOO-ME-JAH DO-PA-ZAL. I know you’re not great at anything that didn’t come out of your stupid white dictionaries, written by straight white males).

When true Marxism comes to ‘Amuuuurhika,’ your children will be toiling away in our kitchens to make my Mumbai Hazpadal and Caniston Goat Jerky. You might think this just some kind of shallow, petulant revenge. But it’s not. It’s called payback!

Ha! Lol. Made ya switch!

No, there’s not going to be any kind of take-over. After all, aggression and hatred is something white people do. I mean, it’s practically in your DNA, after all!

TV Remotes

Dear God…

White people.

Get off your lazy asses and just switch off the TV!

Why do you have all these stupid fights over nothing?

And then you claim we are stupid, for trying to understand the words of Trotsky, Hassan Nasrallah and BLM? Sorry, but this is beyond hypocritical. White people, stop being so goddamn disputatious. I’m here to tell you why your lack of support for Social Justice, intersectional feminism and the postmodernist revolution against scientific essentialist hegemony is poisoning everything.

Eva Luxemburg

Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 1)

One comment on “Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 1)

  1. Social Justice Warriors and the KKK seem to have a lot in common.
    It’s time to do what MLK suggested; race-hustlers of ALL stripes seem to be advocating pretty much the same nonsense, right?
    So what’s the way forward?
    Leave your thoughts below.

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