Maddow Vindicates Hillary Over Inoffensive “Dead New Yorker” Comments

Not so long ago, I told you how top photogenic political superstar Hillary Clinton was arbitrarily and unfairly accused of upsetting some mourners at a funeral…

With some (admittedly) fairly ill-timed, ill-judged, and most crucially, vindictively-taken-out-of-context comments™.

These comments were eerily and disturbingly reminiscent of the comments the mainstream media maliciously and unjustifiably accuse her of making at the Benghazi enquiry.

You know, those ones which have already appeared on some spitefully-doctored Youtube clips posted by bitter, self-absorbed, disaffected conservative misogynists™.

However, on this one occasion, Rachel Maddow, of impartial and informative non-satire news outlet MSNBC (oh, wait…) was not entirely unimpressed with Clinton’s bravura performance.

Indeed, this courageous and witty television personality even took the liberty of speaking of the event in a news commentary broadcast. Her erudite and insightful commentary later appeared online under the title, “Courageous Hillary Annihilates Disrespectful Bigot at Funeral.”

In this, Maddow says:

The enemies of the Democratic Party, is there any depths to which they will not stoop to besmirch the memory… sorry, the NAME of Hillary Rodham Clinton?… Well, I guess both, because some of you have obviously forgotten the immense achievements she has made to conspicuously benevolent social justice activism; ever hear of the ICRW prize she once got? So she OBVIOUSLY must be more pro-woman than the GOP, right?

I mean, it’s just so BLINDINGLY obvious that MERELY because she is an intelligent, glamorous and successful, left-leaning female professional politician™, the Republicans just can’t stand her. Well, hey… Jan Brewer, anyone?

Just look at the clearly malicious and unfounded spin and distortion™ they’ve put on this incident! I mean, this meddling, mean-spirited, and mendacious cleric™ was self-evidently trying to stir things up for that grieving family, who were obviously grateful for Hillary’s intervention…

Ok, grateful, yes, for sure! You know, almost as grateful as the patriotic Afghans, Iraqis, ISIS-eans and all the other downtrodden victims of oppressed regimes that liberal-interventionist governments in the USA have saved from themselves!

I mean, I have a suspicion™ those suspiciously loud and pathetic “heart-rending” sobs from her family were photo-shopped in or something… yeah, they must have been grateful. I mean, about as grateful as the Syrians and their freedom-fighting allies from neighbouring countries that we’ve been hoping to arm, huh?

You know, you just can’t win! If you’re a Democrat and you make a principled liberal ethical stand™, going in all guns blazing, then you get libelled as being some kind of imperialist hooligan! I mean, “left-wing imperialists?” You’ve got to be kidding me! Total contradiction in terms!

BUT… that’s right, I know you understand and agree with what I’m saying, I mean, you generally do agree with our objective news coverage. We’re not exactly Fox News, are we?

And the other side of the false (or at least inexpedient) dilemma is… Well, if you just sit there and say and do nothing, then you’re just lazy, incompetent and don’t care about the righteous and self-evident claims of Our Common Humanity!

I mean, it’s just ridiculous. Talk about an impossible right-wing conservative double-bind!

You know, no matter what Hillary did or didn’t do, that priest who was interrogating the hell out of her (probably an anti-choicer, huh?) would easily have succeeded in making her look bad… especially to all those cynical and opportunistic conservatives™ who are now disrespecting her!

Just look at these twitter pics, and these Facebook posts; I mean, it’s just ABSOLUTELY ridiculous, isn’t it! So uncivil! You know, some people just are incapable of showing respect!

Um… I hate to break it to you… but the keyboard patriots trolling Hillary right now are not the only uncivil and disrespectful people in the USA.

Ya know, being uncivil or disrespectful is kind of like racism, homophobia, misogyny or any other supposed “right wing phenomenon” in at least one respect; that is, that wherever you look on the political spectrum, you will be sure to find it.

Yeah, I mean, ever heard of the Soviet Union’s laws on “hooligans,” (which is, partly, a snarl word for “gay people”); anti-Semitism in Saudi Arabia; or the One-Child Policy in China?

And by the way… if you think what I’m saying is not true, just ask Father O’Reilly; I’m sure he can give you an example or two of egregious incivility and disrespect coming from fairly left-leaning quarters™.

Still, the last word goes to an unnamed and in any case inconsequential campus SJW Trot from that Britain place in Euroweenie land; you know, the one with which the The People That Count™ have a “special relationship”:

“OMG dude! I literally can’t believe all the libertarian-bourgeois-ideological special pleading at the end of that Glossynews article! Just disgusting, isn’t it! Stop dividing the workers! I sure do need a MacStarbuck to calm my nerves! Gonna log off this i-Apple now! Seriously, man!”

Well, consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds, after all. I mean, I’m pretty much down with inconsistency; makes things simpler, in the end. If not wanting add fat on the fire to Middle East conflict makes me a “fake Rightie,” guilty as charged!

Still, with or without Hillary, congratulations to the US State Department and the UK government for excelling themselves once again and taking the courage to once more mobilise some military personnel who they have never met before in their lives, and whose outraged and grieving families they will never have to encounter in person…

In order to “take care” of ISIS and more importantly, to get rid of all the inconvenient, innumerable and nameless “collateral damage” who need not be mentioned now, and in any case, are mere statistical data for elite and behind-the-curtain consumption…

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

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