“Bob Too?” Alicia Keys Denounces Bob Dylan’s ‘Creepy Harassment Agenda’

The latest musical scalp to fall to the recent sexual harassment witch-hunt is rugged smokey-voiced crooner Bob Dylan.

Known for such rousing classics as A Hard Rain’s a Gonna Fall, Frog Chorus, Blowing in the Wind, 5-6-7-8, Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door and This is How You Remind Me, brilliant Bob has now found himself on the wrong end of a woman scorned.

Alicia Keys has recently warned half the world:

You want the smoking gun? Well, here it is!

I was thinkin’ ’bout Alicia Keys, couldn’t keep from crying
When she was born in Hell’s Kitchen, I was living down the line
I’m wondering where in the world Alicia Keys could be
I been looking for her even clear through Tennessee

Yeah, cos there’s definitely NOTHING creepy about that one AT ALL!

Hm. Sounds familiar!

Riled by accusations of misogyny, fiery Bob has responded:

WTF? How the hell am I guilty of stalking and harassment, let alone ACTUALY misogyny?! Look, I only wanted someone to do my housework. It’s been YEARS since I’ve had a skivvy clean behind my fridge… Sorry Godfrey! Anyway, at least I didn’t call her a ‘slut,’ like those English folks always do. Now those guys are REAL sexists.

However, social media is notoriously unforgiving.

Please stick to ruining perfectly serviceable Jimi Hendrix riffs next time, Bob!

Author: Wallace Runnymede

I've been writing satire for many years, and I've been published on many sites! Follow me on Twitter, and have a look at my books on Amazon! I've also had some poetry published by Sad Press recently: look out for 'Centrifugue!' I am also a founding member of the #AutisticDarkWeb: check the hashtag out on Twitter! Money's tight, so please consider dropping me $1 a month on Patreon (see link below). All my Patreon subscribers get certain benefits, including exclusive content, way in advance of anyone else!

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