Wallace Runnymede has written a parody of Hawkwind’s classic ‘Urban Guerrilla.’
But so far, he is still breathing.
Wonder why? 😉
I’m a Beltway guerrilla
Trade wars to the highest seller
I’m a tinpot Godzilla
Universal kiddy-killer
I’m a street-bombing prancer
A global-heating moral cancer
A swift-declining Panzer
Double-serpent-tongued pretender
But let’s not talk about peace and ethics
And kids that don’t explode
We’re losing all of our respect and honour
Universal chaos motherlode, yeah baby
A humanitarian bandit
Don’t pretend you understand it
Can’t make the world a safe place
When it’s a disobedient planet
I’m an omnipotent doom-conductor
The ultimate means of mass destruction
I’m a far-off wreckage constructor
A democracy abductor
So watch out dear Miss Syrian kid
Your hospice is gonna fold
We said we only kill ISIS types
But the plebs don’t even know, we’re ‘right’ now
I’m an IntCom guerrilla all right
Final interlude coming, watch out!
Listen, don’t be a fool now
Gotta gotta gotta be ruled
Gotta be a fool, ‘cos you’re acting like you know it
Gotta be a fool, your uncivil disobedience gonna blow it
Gotta be a fool, giving me headache by my front door
Gotta be a fool, stop criticizing me, you stupid whore
Gotta be a fool, uppity types banging on my back door
Gotta be a fool, can’t listen to no non-subservience no more
Gotta be a fool, arrest you and pass you round the shower
Gotta be a fool, don’t you wave that fist at me…
Gotta be a fool, you drool!
Gotta be a fool, we’re all in this together
Gotta be a fool, I’ve pronounced I shall betray thee never
Gotta be a fool, I am not the ONLY lying one
Gotta be a fool, nation’s Presidents must have our place in the sun
Gotta be a fool, we all live in One True Global Village
Gotta be a fool, ample reason for me to loot and pillage
Gotta be a fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool
To Our Lord of misrule, rule, rule, rule, rule,
Did you know it’s me?
Darling, Sweetheart, Madame Beefheart, pay attention to the rules, you fools…
And to the Ruler of the Cosmos
Watch out!
I’m a Beltway guerrilla
Trade wars to the highest seller
I’m a tinpot Godzilla
Universal kiddy-killer
I’m a street-bombing prancer
A global-warming moral cancer
A rapidly declining panther
Double-serpent-tongued pretender
***
SHUT THE HELL UP, FRICKIN’ STRATEGISTS
YOUR RHETORIC’S GETTIN’ OLD
WE’VE BEEN EAVESDROPPING ON YOUR HEARTBEATS
YOUR INNER SPIRIT’S KNOWN TO US NOW
DON’T WANT NO INTCOM GUERILLA
DON’T WANT NO INTCOM GUERILLA
DON’T WANT NO INTCOM GUERILLA
NO HUMANITARIAN MAFIA NO MORE
NO MORE, CAPISCE?
***
… O darling, honeybums, O please, O do, do, do believe me!
I only did it with the very best and most sincerest of intentions.
And…
And yet more crucially, my love…
…
History will be my judge.
Originally published on The Spoof.