“We All Must Suffer for Our Art!” Grandiose Scottish Poet Nails Ear to Tree, Wins Universal Acclaim


A Scottish poet (apparently not, however, a Dutch one!) had to be rescued by the renowned Edinburgh Fire Brigade after nailing his own ear to a tree. Stan ‘the word’ Smith 36, revealed the source of inspiration that had prompted him to do it.

The eccentric wordsmith said –

“I was ambling freely through a forest one evening when I heard the sound

of wolves howling from a carcass of eagle claws that spiked coyote prowl in

swooning pause, like an ice wind whistling plummet of fleeing deer, streaking

across the strewn summit and the jagged frontier – night owls in starved repertoire

without an instrument to strum, for a sincere symphony to sooth the lonely scars

on the hearts of their beating drum. I gazed up at the night sky, picked a star and

wondered what it meant. And then as if to tell me it flickered like a signal – like a

message sent. A star so silent, so lonely lit, and I could never touch it. But it touched

me with an epiphany. I thought to myself ‘I think I’ll go to Fat Mavis’s hardware store,

buy a hammer and some nails and nail my ear to that tree.’

Author: Stephen Philip Druce

Stephen Philip Druce is a spoof/satire article writer from Shrewsbury in the UK. He has previous publications with The Lemon Press, News Mutiny, The Daily Squib, The Inconsequential, Web-E-Books (USA), The Druids Loom and Bad Scents Of Humour. For updates on Stephen’s humour articles, follow him on Twitter - @DruceStephen.

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