Category: News In Your Briefs
David Blain to Have Himself Cremated on Regis & Kelly
Stuntman and magician David Blain has announced his newest effort to set himself apart from all of magic history. Famous for being frozen in a block of ice, immersed in water and buried alive, David Blain has committed to being…
Democrats Declare 36-Month Hiatus to Bask in Waning Minutes of Glory
House Democrats, ostensibly “led” by Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, have decided to sit out the rest of their lame-duck majority, citing “difficulty in passing any legislation at all,” now that minority Republicans have announced their determination to filibuster every…
Might Tiger Woods Be Suffering from Performance Anxiety?
It was reported that the Friday deadline at 5 p.m. to sign up for next week’s Accenture Match Play golf event was another World Golf Championship event missed by Tiger Woods. It’s reported that he missed the entry deadline for…
AOL News: “Palin Says She’d Run in 2012”
Where? Back to Alaska?
National Tea Party Convention Takes on Carnival Atmosphere
Due to waning Interest, the National Tea Party Convention has switched focus. It will now be called the National Tea Party Convention and Great American Gun & Knife Show. Tickets purchased for the Tea Party Convention will not be refunded…
Conserva-tards Furious Obama Seeks to Limit Fed Spending
In large part it’s because “runaway Democrat spending” was the only thing, the last bastion of damnation, they had to campaign against, but more than tha,t they’re furious because the wastes slated for reduction are ones instituted by George W….
Satirist Finds Fame by Hiding Numerical Code in Works
A satirist has amassed a large following after John Halpern from Okracoke Island, NC won over $1.3 million in the state lottery by cracking the numerical code hidden in an article written by Dominic Benjamin entitled “Octomoms Claim Numbers Don’t…
McDonald’s Introduces the McWineCooler
In a bid to remain the #1 burger chain in the world, McDonald’s has announced that it will start selling wine coolers at its South Beach locations in Miami beginning the middle of March, 2010, just in time for spring…
Sarah Palin to Open for Jonas Brothers in Anchorage, Alaska
Jonas Brothers fans in Anchorage, Alaska have finally gotten their wish. The Jonas Brothers are tentatively scheduled to perform at MaS! (Make-a-Scene) sometime in late June or early July, 2010. A firm date hasn’t been set. What is unusual about…
Conan O’Brien Clashes w/ NBC Titans
Blah blah blah… haven’t we heard it all before? It’s a late night segment with no good joke and a segment that promises never to end. Sure, NBC screwed him practically inside-out, and now the late-night darling is trying to…