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Conservatives Protest Olbermann Departure

Conservatives Protest Olbermann Departure

Isaac Newton once observed, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” The truth of that is seldom seen more clearly than in the rough and tumble of American politics. And so it was this week as Tea Party activists launched candlelight vigils to return Keith Olbermann to the airwaves.

MSNBC’s unexpected removal of Olbermann from its prime time lineup is seen by many as a direct attack on Conservatives, and in the words of one Atlanta, GA protester “a damned dirty trick.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Television2 Comments

Decision Points – The E-book (shocking revelations)

Decision Points – The E-book (shocking revelations)

George W. Bush’s best-selling memoir, Decision Points, has been described as an unconventional narrative and a “groundbreaking new brand of memoir.” Rather than detail his life in chronological order, President Bush chose to center on the “fourteen most critical and historic decisions in [his] life and public service.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc2 Comments

Media Boycotts Year in Review Stories, “It wasn’t that memorable a year”

Media Boycotts Year in Review Stories, “It wasn’t that memorable a year”

In a rare show of solidarity, all news outlets have agreed to cancel ‘Year in Review’ retrospectives for 2010. The late December fluff pieces have long been a staple of American journalism, due in large part to the low skill set required for compilation.

Said Rob Eubanks of the Houston Journal-Constitution-Herald, “Yeah, it’s always been a good way to get the interns out from underfoot. We usually get ‘em started in October digging through past issues. The kids take it real serious too; they’re hilarious like that.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc1 Comment

Wall Street Whizzes “Said Sorry”, Beg Public for New Nest Eggs

Wall Street Whizzes “Said Sorry”, Beg Public for New Nest Eggs

The front page of USA Today announced that ‘Five Wall Street Heavyweights say it’s time to “Get Back Into Stocks!”’

Yes folks, for those of you who are not unemployed or living out of a storage unit, it is time to take your hard-earned cash and put it back into the hands of those people who almost sunk the United States like it was the Titanic.

Hey, what the heck! It’s only money. It’s not like you need it to survive in our modern world. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc0 Comments

Mythical Liberal Media Not Doing Its Job

Mythical Liberal Media Not Doing Its Job

The liberal media has fallen asleep on the job. They are supposed to be the “dominant media” according to certain people. But you sure could never guess it from the last few weeks. Too much has slipped through the grill. Maybe Ann Coulter is right- you just can’t trust them. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Politics0 Comments

Glossy News Implicated In Wikileaks Treason Scandal

Glossy News Implicated In Wikileaks Treason Scandal

Office Of Homeland Security,
Washington, D.C.

To the Editor Brian K. White,

In the latest Wikileaks exposure, a document has been released that we find to be very disturbing. It is a missive sent via what are supposed to be classified channels from one of your ‘staff’, a Mr. Rfreed, to the Republican spokeswoman Sarah Palin. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Politics8 Comments

Bush Vetoes Nutcracker Appearance Claiming it Sounds Too Painful

Bush Vetoes Nutcracker Appearance Claiming it Sounds Too Painful

George Bush has told his wife Laura that there is no way he is going to accompany her to any ballet, let alone a ballet titled the Nutcracker.

“Is she nuts?” asked George, who added, “no pun intended, heh heh heh.”

It is common knowledge that Laura Bush and even George’s mother, Barbara Bush, has been trying every year to get George to attend the Nutcracker Ballet but to no avail. Continue Reading

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Wikileaks Insider Leak: Assange is Developing Nuclear Capabilities

Wikileaks Insider Leak: Assange is Developing Nuclear Capabilities

United States intelligence sources are claiming that Wilileaks Founder, Julian Assange’s recent release of highly sensitive cables is just the tip of the iceberg of what Assange is truly capable of. They paint the picture of a man who considers himself to be one of the most important figures in shaping the way the countries of the world relate to each other. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Technology1 Comment

Glossy News Guide: The Five People You Will Meet In Hell

Glossy News Guide: The Five People You Will Meet In Hell

DETROIT, Mich. (Glossy News) — Coming years after the much lauded success of his beloved novel, “The Five People You Meet In Heaven,” author Mitch Albom now returns to the best seller charts with “The Five People You Meet In Hell,” which he emphasizes is not a sequel.

In the first book, an amusement park maintenance man named Eddie dies unexpectedly while trying to save a young girl’s life at Ruby Pier. He unexpectedly finds that ‘life’ doesn’t end with his death. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

NPR to Use FOX Tactics to Survive In Modern US Media Climate

NPR to Use FOX Tactics to Survive In Modern US Media Climate

The recent Juan Williams firing scandal has led National Public Radio to realize that they need to develop more FOX News type media tactics if they are to survive. A radical top to bottom make-over has been ordered for the normally passive, low key, informational and culturally oriented nationwide station to bring them into a more aggressive and combative mode. It must be similar to the transformation Sarah Palin went through when she went from being the Governor of America’s least populated state to being the Cinderella of the U.S. Tea Party. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Politics0 Comments

U.S. Gastronomical Travel Guide For Gourmet Zombies

U.S. Gastronomical Travel Guide For Gourmet Zombies

Fans of brains everywhere, rejoice! Here is the first in-print guide to fine brain dining wherever you may be in the US. Our ghoulish researchers have spent many dark, moonlit nights partaking of the cuisine available throughout this great land.

They have experimented with cranial delicacies from the intellectuals of New York to the trailer trash of Alabama. Here is a portion of the guide to whet your appetite for mental munchies. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Travel3 Comments

Woman Claims Alter Ego Wrote Pornography without Her Permission

Woman Claims Alter Ego Wrote Pornography without Her Permission

NIAGARA FALLS, N.Y. (Glossy News) — K. S. Trojan, famous author of “All Things Funny” is going after her alter ego for penning several pornographic poems without her knowledge or permission, and publishing them under the name Krazy K.

Asked how Ms. Trojan discovered the poems or learned that they were written by her alter ego, she merely stated that she found the poems hidden in a file in her word processing program, entitled “naughty bits.” When she opened one of them, Trojan could not believe her eyes. There in print were some of her deepest, darkest secrets — things only she could have known. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

Insider: Kato Kaelin to Join NPR for “Balance”

Insider: Kato Kaelin to Join NPR for “Balance”

An unusually combative Janet Bryce-Flaverhaven spoke to reporters this week as she unveiled the long awaited 2011 NPR schedule.

The venerable broadcasting behemoth, much loved by hundreds of listeners, has been a topic of much recent scrutiny. The reflexive firing of an African-American that somehow didn’t involve Agriculture Secretary Vilsack has prompted some to consider all things NPR. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Celebrity Gossip6 Comments

Kennedy Ctr Pre-Humously Honor Hugh “Playboy Bunny” Hefner

Kennedy Ctr Pre-Humously Honor Hugh “Playboy Bunny” Hefner

Famed soft core porn peddler Hugh Hefner will be among the Lifetime Achievement Award winners at 2011 Kennedy Center ceremonies. The announcement immediately stirred controversy, since it marks the first time the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts has honored a person outside the strict definition of performing arts. Reaction was equally swift; KCPA media spokesman Adam Lambert did a press conference to explain the choice, and Agriculture Secretary Vilsack fired Aretha Franklin. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc0 Comments

Scholar Claims Bacon and Marlowe Works Written by Shakespeare

Scholar Claims Bacon and Marlowe Works Written by Shakespeare

In a recent controversial paper for The Journal of Cultural History and Aesthetic Identity, historian Leonard Zelig claims that the works of late sixteenth century cultural giants Christopher Marlowe and Francis Bacon were actually written by a contemporary, a playwright named William Shakespeare from rural Stratford on Avon. Continue Reading

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Newsweek Purchased by Finnish Tourism Dept for $1

Newsweek Purchased by Finnish Tourism Dept for $1

Finland, that land of perpetual daytime, when it isn’t night 24 hours a day — known for snow, reindeer, hot tubs, saunas and, I guess, other things, was in the news this last week.

In a story that barely made the news this month we found out that Newsweek was sold to an investor for the suspicious sum of $1. What has been more thoroughly covered was the Newsweek report that Finland is the #1 country in the world. It seems the mystery is solved, as the transaction was brokered by the Finnish Tourism Council. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Travel0 Comments

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