MRA Becomes Militant Dawah Activist

This is a new, previously unseen story, which I am publishing here in order to celebrate the release of The Great Flâneur Massacre. The latter satirical novella is being re-released on Amazon as part of The Great Flaneur Narrative on May 31!

***

Rob Schiller, the whingeing tenure-cadging graduate of Wallace Runnymede’s The Great Flaneur Narrative, has started to intellectualize in a rather disturbing manner.

Indeed. Disappointed at the fact that no-one has given him a post at a university, this achingly under-appreciated lad with a crushing sense of entitlement has combined his hipster ethos with a sprinkling of jihadist rhetoric.

Schiller was already hostile to feminism, which latter he has always regarded as a maliciously counterfeit social justice movement designed purely to rob hard-working young white straight males of their rightful vocational entitlements.

So, the step to becoming a misogynist jihadist wasn’t too difficult for him to make.But what does the UK’s latest hipster jihadist actually think about the world he lives in?

Schiller wails:

Islam was so very, very wonderful better in the old days before it went electric. Technology is merely a tool of Satan & corrupt & decadent music bosses, and that makes me so, so sad! ;(

I am just SICK of people only listening to the parts of the Quran that talk about peace & love. There’s much better stuff out there…

Still, it’s too much to expect the likes of you probably wouldn’t understand that! You people really hurt my feelings so, so much! ;(

I remember when Islam was really EDGYYY, but after the first few Caliphs they sold out! I am just so oppressed… ;(

I knew the Prophet’s teachings before they went MAINSTREEEAAAM! But nowadays, I am just REALLY, REALLY TIRED of all these Hanafis, Malikis & Shias jumping on the bandwagon! It just makes me want to cry ;(

However, after being waterboarded, getting a few good hard knocks on the good old Salafi-salami, and finally getting let out with a fashionable magnetic wristband, on condition of good behaviour, Rob has finally changed his tune.

 You know, I really used to love making hipster jokes before it went MAAAIIINSTREEEAAAM. But now everyone’s doing it, I don’t feel the same overweening pride in my edgy wit! ;((((((

Even so, Rob is now just as much a pariah as he ever was. From former MRA moderate male misogynist to former moderate political Islamist jihadist… now isn’t he a charming lad!

Still, having said that, he isn’t a REAAALLY, REAAALLY NICE GUY! But then, in fairness, most MRAs & jihadists aren’t.

That’s probably why, by now, most Muslims and most men just won’t have anything to do with him.

Nor indeed will pretty much anyone, really!

Well, perhaps there’s a lesson in there somewhere…

***

Watch out for an update tomorrow on The Great Flaneur Narrative! 

***

Article abridged from a piece on Satire Catastrophes.

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? USE THIS COMMENTS SECTION TO PUT THE WORLD TO RIGHTS...

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.