This is a new, previously unseen story, which I am publishing here in order to celebrate the release of The Great Flâneur Massacre. The latter satirical novella is being re-released on Amazon as part of The Great Flaneur Narrative on May 31!
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Rob Schiller, the whingeing tenure-cadging graduate of Wallace Runnymede’s The Great Flaneur Narrative, has started to intellectualize in a rather disturbing manner．
Indeed. Disappointed at the fact that no-one has given him a post at a university, this achingly under-appreciated lad with a crushing sense of entitlement has combined his hipster ethos with a sprinkling of jihadist rhetoric.
Schiller was already hostile to feminism, which latter he has always regarded as a maliciously counterfeit social justice movement designed purely to rob hard-working young white straight males of their rightful vocational entitlements.
So, the step to becoming a misogynist jihadist wasn’t too difficult for him to make.
But what does the UK’s latest hipster jihadist actually think about the world he lives in?
Schiller wails:
Islam was so very, very wonderful better in the old days before it went electric. Technology is merely a tool of Satan & corrupt & decadent music bosses, and that makes me so, so sad! ;(
I am just SICK of people only listening to the parts of the Quran that talk about peace & love. There’s much better stuff out there…
Still, it’s too much to expect the likes of you probably wouldn’t understand that! You people really hurt my feelings so, so much! ;(
I remember when Islam was really EDGYYY, but after the first few Caliphs they sold out! I am just so oppressed… ;(
I knew the Prophet’s teachings before they went MAINSTREEEAAAM! But nowadays, I am just REALLY, REALLY TIRED of all these Hanafis, Malikis & Shias jumping on the bandwagon! It just makes me want to cry ;(
However, after being waterboarded, getting a few good hard knocks on the good old Salafi-salami, and finally getting let out with a fashionable magnetic wristband, on condition of good behaviour, Rob has finally changed his tune.
You know, I really used to love making hipster jokes before it went MAAAIIINSTREEEAAAM. But now everyone’s doing it, I don’t feel the same overweening pride in my edgy wit! ;((((((
Even so, Rob is now just as much a pariah as he ever was. From former MRA moderate male misogynist to former moderate political Islamist jihadist… now isn’t he a charming lad!
Still, having said that, he isn’t a REAAALLY, REAAALLY NICE GUY! But then, in fairness, most MRAs & jihadists aren’t.
That’s probably why, by now, most Muslims and most men just won’t have anything to do with him.
Nor indeed will pretty much anyone, really!
Well, perhaps there’s a lesson in there somewhere…
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Watch out for an update tomorrow on The Great Flaneur Narrative!
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Article abridged from a piece on Satire Catastrophes.