146
If Roberts rules for order,
he could right the Schiff of state.
147
Britain has its Brexit.
Now we need our Trumpxit.
148
Putin has finally confessed —
mea culpa
crime mea.
Trump should too,
as the metoo president.
149
As a cost-saving measure and to prevent foreign meddling,
Trump plans to replace our election system
with Twitter.
He is confident that he will never be de-tweeted.
150
Trump’s effort to divide the nation will fail —
He is a total nothing, a zero;
and you cannot divide by zero.
151
Hell to the chief
bottlewasher.
May you never again show your face to the Republic
for which you do not stand.
152
The enthusiastic fans yelled —
“Give them hell!”
Unfortunately, God was listening,
and took them literally,
giving them Donald Trump.
153
Trump’s alternative to healthcare for all —
wealthcare and the wall.
154
So the record will read
that one Republican Senator had a pear
when 50 of them should have had a peach.
155
Why would Trump never move to the Midwest?
For fear that he would be known as
The Little Louse on the Prairie.
156
Trump gets invited to many weddings
as father of the bribe.
157
From his business experience
Trump knows all about retailiation.
158
The new Fox game show —
Republican Limbo:
How low can the Barr go?
159
Dante rewritten —
The Swine Comedy
or De Senate to Hell.
160
Trump’s Oath of Office —
I will faithfully execute the Office of President,
by firing squad,
and will preserve, protect and defend
the Constipation of the United States.
161
Trump should form a band of bothers.
His cheerleaders would be trumpettes.
And he could play the dumbs.
162
If at first you don’t impeach,
try, try again.
Charge! on all counts.
Once again into the breach of the law.
163
Trump is extremely reliable —
he can lie over and and over again.
164
Name for a house of comfort in a retirement community —
Final Fantasy.
Its slogan —
No good wood should go to waste.
165
She thought he was the man of her dreams
until she learned he had no toes.
She was lack-toes intolerant.
166
“Howdy, Pardonner,”
said Chaucer to Trump.
“I’m sure you’ll do a hell of a good job.
No one knows Hell as well as you do.”
167
The judges have been benched.
Who ever suspected that they had a coach.
Now when will the coach turn into a pumpkin?
(He’s turning orange already.)
168
The checks and balances of American government
are like Rock, Paper, Scissors.
When the Rock decides he wins every time,
the nation is caught between
a Rock and a hard place.
169
Satan’s construction crews
are working overtime
to dig deeper circles of Hell
in preparation for Trump’s arrival.
170
Trump just fired another dozen White House staffers.
He heard that they went on walks at lunchtime,
and he won’t tolerate anyone having a constitutional.
171
Message to Congress —
If life gives you a swamp,
turn it into gatorade.
172
Therapy suggestion —
The fricking fracking wall-nut
in the White House
is nuts.
So grab him by the nuts
and crack them.
173
Trump has decided to build the wall
in New York
instead of at the Mexican border.
He’ll call it “Wall Street.”
174
Trump’s reconstituted constitution:
In order to form a more perfect onion,
establish just-is,
boost sales of tranquilizers,
provide for the common fence,
eliminate welfare,
and insecure liberty
I do disdain and disestablish this constitution.
175
Why did the Trump appointee
talk to a light bulb?
So he could say,
in good conscience,
that he spoke truth to power.
176
Why does Trump talk to his pet rock?
He hopes to learn how
to fool
all of the pebbles
all of the time.
177
Why should Trump read Sartre?
For self-knowledge,
since he’s an existential threat to the nation.
178
Trump’s apology to a lady he just groped —
Sorry. I thought that was a door knocker.
179
In India, Trump sang “Swami River”
and the guru replied —
“If you repent now and
devote the rest of your life to good deeds,
you may be reincarnated as a worm,
much higher than you are now.”
180
Trump to Modi —
Greetings from your cousins, the Indians of America.
And congratulations on your hin do attitude and
the success of Reincarnated Milk.
181
Trump was thinking of building a tower in India
and making it a massive delicatessen —
the Deli of Delis in Deli.
Then he decided to buy the Taj Mahal
and turn it into a casino catering to Hindus:
“You Bet Your Life.”
182
Re-choice! Re-choice! all ye de-voted!
Order a bloomberger
or a sloppy joe.
For Pete’s sake,
let St. Bernie come to the rescue.
Take Amy and fire,
or pick the Great Lizzie of Oz.
No matter what, Trump will come in turd.
183
Trump will soon claim credit for the Solar Probe,
which is now in position to study the corona up close
and find a cure for the coronavirus