Trump Declares USMCA Funds Border Wall… Trudeau Disagrees

Buenos Aires, Argentina- On Friday, leaders from the United States, Mexico, and Canada formally endorsed the United States- Mexico- Canada Agreement (USMCA) before a packed house at the G-20 Summit.

On Monday, US President Donald Trump declared political victory via twitter.

“Just signed USMCA, the largest trade deal in the history of mankind. This deal is great for America, will create millions of jobs, and fully funds our Big Beautiful Wall. I told you Mexico would pay for it. #Promises Kept #MAGA #Big Beautiful Wall #USMCA”

In an interview with members of the Canadian press corps, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau disputed Trump’s claims, and made a few of his own.

“The USMCA, also known as NAFTA 2.0, does not provide funding for border protection at the Mexico-US border.  In fact, if President Trump actually took the time to read the agreement, he would have realized that this agreement sets a very clear timeline for the deconstruction of all existing border measures along the Mexico-US border, as well as the Canada-US border.”

“Furthermore, this landmark agreement mandates that Canada’s strict environmental requirements will be applied to the American and Mexican manufacturing industries, with a clearly defined timeline that matches those mandated by the Paris Climate Agreement.”

“It also mandates wage increases within both American and Mexican manufacturing industries, establishes a North American minimum wage of $16.00 per hour by 2022, and $20.00 per hour by 2030, all while compensating both Mexico and Canada for every vehicle manufactured in the US starting in 2025.  This will go down as a truly historic trade deal, and the model for the rest of the world going forward.”

The White House has refused to comment on Trudeau’s statements.  One member of the United States negotiation team, who spoke off the record so they could discuss the deal, verified neither the White House, nor the negotiating team has read the trade agreement.

Author: Fort Nag

Ft. Nag is a poet and speculative satirist who lives in Sacramento, CA. "Real News and Fake News have become interchangeable in our world today. This probably won't help. Sorry."