Tag Archive | "trade"

President Obama Orchestrates Worst Trade in History of Trades

Washington, D.C. – Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No, Nanette, we have a new winner.

Over the weekend, President Obama approved the trade of a captured war deserter who may have become radicalized by our enemy in exchange for five known, high-ranking terrorists so they can get back on the battlefield again. Read the full story


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Chinese Ports Await Massive Christmas Cash Delivery

The Chinese ports of Shanghai and Shenzhen are preparing to unload dozens of giant freighters. The ships are filled to the brim with cash made from selling Americans millions of tons of cheap junk over the Christmas holidays.

Fueled by the flashing bright colors, scantily clad models and pictures of wide-eyed children inherent in American advertising, Americans went all out by scraping cash, debit and credit cards from the bottom of their threadbare pockets in an annual ritual that on the surface looks like it was designed only to preserve China’s economic influence in the world. Read the full story


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Shipment of Chinese Crap Raises Homeland Security Alert Level

A huge influx of cheap-good laden ships from Mainland China caused Homeland Security to raise its insecurity level to the orange level today. Normally, goods coming in from China raise no terrorist alerts, but due to the present economic crisis the agency has become aware that the importing of cut-rate merchandise from the former Communist land helps to destroy the American manufacturing base. This also takes jobs away from Americans, but since they have government jobs they know they don’t need to care. Read the full story


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Obama Mastering Asian Arm Control

SINGAPORE, ASIA — US President Barack Obama shows every intent of mastering Arm Control Photo-ops (ACP-op) over Singapore’s PM Lee Hsien Loong, as seen here in our photo at the left. Once officially documented, Obama plans to continue on with the rest of the Asian heads of state. His final mastery will be the long awaited ACP-op with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. Read the full story


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