Mother with Son ‘Bit Rough Around the Edges’ Endorses Hillary

Some are saying that the choice between Clinton and Trump really is an impossible one. An orange hued racist demagogue versus a blonde haired, blue eyed creepy Aryan interventionist. However, proud Mum Cabernet-Sauvignon Baxter of Brixton, London has just done the woman thaeng, and graciously defended the honour of future Nobel Peace Prize mass media photoshoot heroin heroine Hillary Rodham Clinton:

Look mate, at the end o’ the day, hands up… uh, my son did stab his teacher, set a couple girl hair on fire (they were proper cruisin’ for a bruisin’ though, weren’t they, eh?) but at the end o’ the day, I mean look ‘ere, mate…

Look, I know you’ve probably heard it all before, but my son ain’t an angel. ‘E’s a little bit rough around the edges, but really mate, ‘e ‘as a heart o’ gold.

I mean, we were just walking down the street the other day, and one of ’em Paki lads said something funny.  And the little wag of mine, he just makes a joke, and it were just PROPER funny, mate!

I mean, my son ain’t perfect, but at the end of the day mate, he’s my son, and that’s all that matters. And, eh! I tell ya what… Anyone else who has more shit talk to say about my lad will be answering to me, alright!!!

I ask her what about Hillary though?

Oh, er, yeah, they also told me to talk about that one. Yeah, same. She’s a bit of a rough diamond, ain’t she? But she means well and she’s proper nice at ‘eart. And in the end, I mean that’s all you want, innit?!

Hillary was rather pleased at this high praise.

Hmmmggghhh… Mighty white of this English girl, my friends! That really is mighty white of you! See, just today alone, the ENTIRE International Community have just endorsed me! Sooo… hhhmmmggghhh… What could POSSIBLY go wrong?!

Will Bill genially ejaculates:

Uh, well, you know that shit about that flight we took with J…

Hill spits:

Ohhh, would you just SHUT UP, you little moron!

Later, I ask Cabz if she really meant what she said.

Har! Har! Har! You blumming ‘aving a giraffe, mate? I only said all that made-up bollocks because their shitty Foundation bribed me. Everyone knows any Mum who talks like that about their son is full of shit.

Well, some would say the same applies to any remotely analogous spin about notable #HawkFem Presidential candidates too…

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!