Dissident “MRA” Terrorists Wreak Havoc in Northern Ireland

The age-old conflict between men and women in Northern Ireland has been recently worsened by a scandalous schism in the Men’s Rights Movement (MRM).

The MRM, funnily enough, is made up entirely up of self-styled “Men’s Rights Activists” (MRAs).

And similarly hilariously, the “Men’s Rights Movement” contains no men, but is composed entirely of sexually-frustrated teenage web trolls…

Or at least, overaged sexually frustrated teenage web trolls.

Yet, as is so often the case in history, the MRM is considered by its own self-indulgent partisans to be a noble and highly principled movement of militant political activism™.

Having said that, everybody else knows they are fanatical and doctrinaire assholes, who are always trying to intimidate and terrorise people who have actually done them no harm at all.

Indeed, MRAs are actually resentful bastards who target innocent civilians for the sake of satisfying their resentment at misfortunes other people have inflicted on them, instead of criticizing the other people, the people who are actually in power…

Thus ignoring the people who are really responsible for their misery, and picking on people who haven’t done anything wrong to them.

Of course, MRAs tend to respond that the “evil gynocentric media” (or even “evil gynologocentric media,” at a push) are censoring them and distorting their views, instead of giving them a fair hearing.

So they assert that the “female-chauvinist matriarchal media” have been indoctrinating men for millennia, playing divide and rule in order to stop disloyal and cowardly men from questioning the current order and realising how oppressed and downtrodden by the hegemonic forces of womanly wickedness they really are.

Admittedly, there was hope that the MRAs would stop causing trouble for innocent people, and would strive to work together with their old enemies for a more fair and just society.

A society where women and men could live together as equals, with no-one being unfairly privileged, and no-one being unfairly disadvantaged.

However, there has now been a vicious schism among the Northern Ireland MRAs. The “Real MRA” and “Continuity MRA” refuse the slightest degree of compromise or negotiation with those they call “the purple bastard oppressors.”

Not only do the Real MRA and Continuity MRA factions insist on continuing their tediously vicious campaigns of pathetic Twitter trolling and Facebook flaming…

They have even turned on MRAs they consider to be too weak-kneed and compromising.

Jimmy-Bo Kill-Patrick says:

Them there boys has sold us out, so they have. See them there uns, them is doin’ all what us here has been warnin’ our boys about for years.

The other day, I seen an MRA gelling his hair. I says to him:

“Are ye bloody queer or somethin’? That there stuff is for poofters. Next thing ye know ye’ll be shavin’ yer armpits.

“Hey… houl’ on; is that there aftershave yer wearin’?”

So we took the boy out and shot him in the bollocks for being such a bloody flim-flammy patsy of the evil oppressive female-chauvinist agendases (sic).

Aye, ye know, us here doesn’t want none of them there female-ist supremacists comin’ to our country ‘n’ supremacisin’ at us. Ye see, us here won’t be standin’ for none ‘o’ that, so we won’t!

Northern Ireland First Minister Peter Robinson was mildly unimpressed at the negative coverage the MRAs were getting.

Now then, I’m certainly not going to say out loud, in front of all these television cameras and media reporters, that I agree with all these “MRA” ideas, as some are calling them.

But still, the MRAs are entitled to their opinion. I’m sure they can speak for themselves, and I really don’t think it’s up to me to endorse or condemn their own personal, individual views.

Hmm… sounds a wee bit familiar, that there, now.

Author: Wallace Runnymede

I've been writing satire for many years, and I've been published on many sites! Follow me on Twitter, and have a look at my books on Amazon! I've also had some poetry published by Sad Press recently: look out for 'Centrifugue!' I am also a founding member of the #AutisticDarkWeb: check the hashtag out on Twitter! Money's tight, so please consider dropping me $1 a month on Patreon (see link below). All my Patreon subscribers get certain benefits, including exclusive content, way in advance of anyone else!

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