Israelis and Palestinians Finally Agree on Something… Unfortunately

The UN Council, sick of the never ending strife in Israel between the Jews and the Arabs, came up with a novel idea for mediating a lasting truce. They employed Buddhists to act as peacekeepers.

The Buddhist faith, probably among the most peaceful of any of the earthly religions, emphasizes tolerance, good will and understanding as its most important virtues.

The UN high council members thought that having Buddhist monks watching over the two Mid-east enemies might bring about the long sought after peace that the area had lacked for the last 70 years.

On July 28th the first Buddhist monk, Hua Chunie, arrived and was promptly assigned to the northernmost border crossing connecting Jerusalem to the Palestinian side. The two border guards from each side came out to speak to him, each regarding the other suspiciously as they approached the silent, solitary man.

“Greetings!” said the Palestinian guard to the newcomer in English.

“Shalom!” said the Israeli guard who then reverted to English to say, “How are you today?”

“I am fine, thank you” answered the diminutive man in a thick Asiatic accent. He was clad in a brown robe that seemed a little thick for the hot day. The heat did not seem to abate his smile and enthusiasm at being there.

“So, you are the peacekeeper then?” asked the Palestinian.

“Yes. I am here to promote the cause of peace between all people.”

The two guards looked at each other curiously. “Is that even possible?” asked the Jewish man sarcastically. The Palestinian snorted at the idea too.

“Oh, that is the way it should be! The great Buddha said we should love and show respect to each other; even our enemies.”

“You’ve have to be kidding!” stated the Palestinian.

“Oh, absolutely not! The lion must learn to lie down with the lamb! We must learn to live in peace with each other and to love one another.” answered the monk.

The Jewish guard smirked cynically at this. “I don’t think that is going to happen here!”

“But it must! That is the only way we can have world peace! We must learn to forgive and forget!”

Both of the guards laughed at this. The Palestinian said “I can tell you haven’t been here long.”

“Place doesn’t matter. Peace belongs to all the creatures of the world. It conveys the spirit of the higher heavens to the earth below. We all need to learn to get a long with one another.”

The Israeli eyed his counterpart as he said “And what if the other we are supposed to get along with wants to kill us?”

“You just have to learn to love one another. Then we will have a better world for everyone.”

“How do you propose to do that? asked the Palestinian.

“We the peacemakers will pray for you and try to make you more like we Buddhists. You will have to lay down your weapons and embrace each others culture, embrace each others religion and eventually embrace each other.”

Both guards looked intently at each other, then both raised their weapons and blasted the little man into whatever sort of heaven he believed in.

The two opposite men than stared at other over their smoking weapons. For a moment they were both silent.

The Israeli spoke first, “Thank God we got rid of him!”

The Palestinian uttered. “Yeah, he would have screwed up everything!”

“We can’t have any more like him around.” said the Jew.

“I’ll say! We need to keep things normal.” replied the other.

They hid the body.

“See you around.”


They then returned to their posts pretending as though nothing had happened.

Things thereafter in Israel and Palestine went on as always although some people occasionally wondered what had ever happened to the nice little Asian monk who had smiled at everyone.

But no one questioned too long.

Author: rfreed

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at