Categorized | Politics

Due to Cowardice, U.S. senators Forced to Spell Title w/ Small ‘s’

Due to Cowardice, U.S. senators Forced to Spell Title w/ Small ‘s’

Americans, sick of the kowtowing and cowardice of their elected officials in the face of NRA intimidation when voting to defeat even the most reasonable of gun control, have elected to force the Senators to use a small ‘s’ in front of their once proud title.

The effect of this new development has been surprisingly humiliating to the Senators…oops, excuse me- ‘senators’.

A visible upset senator James Grabcash, scion of a family well entrenched in the tobacco industry, was almost to the point of tears when interviewed.

“I fought long and hard to become a senator! My family had to pay off so many people to get me through law school and into this position so that I kept up the family tradition of remaining in the upper crust! You can’t just take that away from me! The NRA didn’t give me that much campaign money that it is worth losing my prestige!”

An unapologetic senator Joe Greasepalm whose family had made millions in illegal bootlegging during Prohibition was livid over the situation.

“Ah am a man of honor. As a Senator which I am saying with a capital ‘S’ whether you like it or not, Ah have been involved in many important issues during my tenure. I supported giving the big businesses taxpayer money for a bailout although they made colossal errors due to blind greed. Ah was entirely supportive of the banks foreclosing people out of their homes for the colossal mistake of trusting their banks.

“Ah supported sending our young working class people off to die meaninglessly in Iraq while meaninglessly killing many innocent Iraqis. As you can see, Ah have paid mah dues! Ah deserve the respect of spelling my hardly earned….ah mean, mah hard earned title of ‘Senator’. With a capital ‘S’, if you please!”

A rather sniffy senator Uppherr Krust was appalled by the new regulation. “I don’t see at all what all the fuss is about! I don’t see any problem with people owning whatever guns they want. There is all this talk about gun violence. I think it is a load of rubbish. I live in a restricted entry, all white gated community and I have never seen the slightest bit of violence.

“Well, except for our dear little boys constantly shooting squirrels and birds out of trees and occasionally a neighbors dog. But what the heck, they are only kids. We want our kids should know that they are special and can do whatever they want. No restrictions like all those middle class kids have.”

Many visitors to various Senate chambers have been intentionally uttering the senators title with a pronounced ‘ssssssssss’ sound, much like the hissing of a snake. The symbology is not lost on most of the senators.

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 546 posts on GlossyNews.com.

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at http://inyear252509.wordpress.com/

.

One Response to “Due to Cowardice, U.S. senators Forced to Spell Title w/ Small ‘s’”

  1. Diggy says:

    I think it’s a shame and a sham that Reid didn’t abolish the sitting filibuster. They had a gentlmans’s agreement not to abuse it. Stupid on that day, obviously stupid now.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial