Clinton Tells Paki’s – “Tax ’em & Be Damned”

The US Secretary of State, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, in yet another typical menopausal outburst – yesterday rebuked Pakistani government officials for pleading they couldn’t afford to wage an all-out war against Taliban Dan and his gang of Jolly Jihadi insurgents infiltrating the northern provinces of the basket case country due the government coffers being emptier than Old Mother Hubbard’s recession-hit cupboard.

Displaying a customary aura of unqualified arrogance that she picked up from lording it in Arkansas over the Mena Mafia while her adulterous hubby Billy Boy, the Artful Draft Dodger, was State Governor, Clinton publicly castigated the Paki’ Finance Minister Mohammed al Gingersnap.

Admonishing him in high decibel tones that could be heard blocks away, the Rodent emphasised the reason the United States could afford to wage multiple and simultaneous wars in various global theatres was due the fact it enforces punitive and confiscatory taxation on the American people from the cradle to the grave – whether they liked it or not – and it was about time Pakistan started doing the same.

Clinton continued berating her victim, prodding him in the chest with a six inch pocket rocket to emphasise her points.

“We’re getting downright sick and tired of pulling you guys outa the shit and supplying you with conventional weapons and cash to prop your governments up while you’ve got your own nukes and won’t let us see them.”

“Your taxes on GDP here are lower than a snake’s bollocks so no wonder you’ve got no capital reserves. We tax everything that dares to move – and still tax the living shit outa it even if it doesn’t move – and that’s not what we see in here Pakistan.”

While having the singular distinction of being a total loser as far as Democratic presidential candidate material is concerned, the fact Obama appointed her as Sec’ of State as a consolation prize for standing down did not automatically accoutre her with the requisite knowledge of foreign affairs nor the practiced diplomatic skills to perform such duties.

However, when not kissing Israeli Prime Minister Benji’ Netanyahu’s fat kike arse and officially approving – on behalf of de-facto US President Rahm Emmanuel – the IDF’s snuffing out Gaza Gangsters and demolishing Jerusalem so they can rebuild Solomon’s Temple – Secretary Clinton easily slips into her congenital red-necked butch bitch manner while castigating Third World walk-overs like the intimidated and terrified Paki’ Finance Minister.

However it hardly occurred to the haughty and imperious Rodent that, apart from the ultra-wealthy 1% elite ruling class, the people of Pakistan don’t have two rupee coins to rub together or a pot to piss in, and definitely can’t afford to be taxed into extinction – thus why the government does not even dare contemplate such a fiscal imposition lest they kick-start a French ‘1789 Terror’ or a ‘1917 Bolshevik’ style revolution that puts paid to their lard-arsed oligarchy.

According to the Human Development Index 60% of Pakistan’s population lives on an income of under $2 a day – with the remaining 39% veritably raking it in at a rate of $3 per day.
In addition, Pakistan has a higher infant mortality rate than Gaza and the depleted uranium contaminated wasteland that now constitutes the once-sovereign and Fertile Crescent nation of Iraq.

After receiving a veritable earful from Clinton, Finance Minister Gingersnap informed her personal secretary Ms. Sapphie Dildodo and a reporter from Fux News that Pakistan has been a country deeply rooted in abject poverty since the 1947 partition with India and where more than half of children under five are so underweight they would be classed as concentration camp rejects by accepted Auschwitz index standards.

However the wife of the Arkansas amateur rapist was having none of it, declaring to a reporter from the Shit-or-Bust Gazette “This is it – no more hand-outs for this bunch of dummies until they let us in on the location of their underground nuke sites so we can get Mossad to guard them properly before Big Al Qaeda and his good buddy Taliban Dan come down here and steal the friggin’ lot and drop one on our friends in Israel.”

Conversely, for a globalist gangster of Secretary Clinton’s egocentric genre, Pakistan’s wretched poverty doesn’t even serve to stir the lifeless embers of her stifled conscience – it’s all simply another move in tightening the collar of control and shortening the leash.

As to the nation’s inability to raise taxes – it is yet another Third World dump – its origins and maintenance as such designed by the Masters of the World to forever be so – with poverty and misery the established social norm.

Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via