Weaponized Sarcasm: Some Snarky Tweets on Neocons

Here are some lightly-edited tweets of mine, poking fun at and exposing the neoconservative menace. Don’t forget to follow me!

  1. Neocons are Lord Sauron, who covet the Ring of Power for evil’s sake. Liberal Interventionists are Saruman, the ‘moral’ alternative!

https://twitter.com/OneTongueJohnny/status/842113224975749120

2. Neocons are hypocrites who are ‘big government’ on matters concerning the ‘national interest’ & ‘national security;’ and small government on pretty much everything else!

3. If the Third Reich had clung on, in vastly diminished form, latter day Germans would be saying, like Neocons, “OK, we made some mistakes…”

4. The crimes of Neocons don’t make the crimes of theocracy less reprehensible. The crimes of theocracy don’t make Neocon crimes any better.

5. The Kristol Dynasty represent the convergence of Neocon and Alt-Right irrationalism. “Different truths, different people!”

(NB: Bill Kristol is not Alt-Right. However, right now, the Alt-Right and the Neoconservatives are both irrationalists involved in a fairly brutal and bloody turf war).

6. ‘But we can’t just sit there!’ Translation: “I just can’t sleep at night! It’s all about ME!”

7. When are the Tories going to rename themselves the NEO-Conservative party? They only care about their so-called ‘national interest,’ & hate actual PEOPLE.

8. How about, for the sake of precedent, we just rename every party of war, i.e. every Neoconservative & Liberal Interventionist party, ‘The Party?’

9. Before long, that special moon of Saturn’s will be more hospitable than much of the Middle East & North Africa, thanks to the Neocons and the liberal interventionists.

10. Neocons tell Liberal Interventionists:

“You may be plague-bearers: but my disease is more virulent than yours!”

The Liberal Interventionists tell Neocons the same…

11. Yes, Liberal Interventionists are indeed more moral than Neocons! Same way moderate rapists who wear condoms are more moral than extreme rapists.

12. The thing about Neocons is, they traffic entirely in abstractions. They are completely in denial about actual real human beings. Unlike Neocons, the philospher Unamuno speaks of the ‘hombre de carne y hueso,’ the man (person) of flesh and bone. They flatter ‘Humanity’ with their treasures, in order to rob The Individual. Neocons are as collectivist as anyone.

13. Sad to hear about Libya being overrun by violent extremists; or as some call them, Neocons!

14. Neocons, Liberal Interventionists, Political Islamists, Jihadists actually have so much in common, that it’s a pity they don’t get along.

15. Neocons & Altright… One is a creepy gang of vicious white supremacists. The other is a creepy gang of vicious white supremacists!

16. Regressive Left, Neocons  and Populist Extremists all agree: “I have no convictions, but I will defend these non-existent convictions to the death!”

17. Liberal Internationalists are clearly morally superior to Neocons; cos they cause trouble, then cry buckets afterwards.

18. Liberal Interventionists be like: ‘Well, at least, TECHNICALLY, we’re nicer than neocons!’ Neocons then be like: ‘Well, at least, TECHNICALLY we’re more patriotic than Libints!’

19. Liberal interventionists and Neocons are the worst plagiarists in the world. Want to remake world in their own image, but never once have the decency to credit Uncle Joe for the idea!

Oh, and finally…

Word to the wise!

20.  Liberal Interventionist and Neoconservatives are having fun in the kitchen; but believe me, myriads of peace-loving citizens are turning on the heat!

 

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!