UN Goldstone Report Hints Israeli War Crimes “Uncool”

The UN Human Rights and Wrongs Council has backed a report into the festive season-of-goodwill Israeli offensive in Gaza that accuses the IDF and the Knesset government of dastardly Nazi-style war crimes bordering on a genocidal mini-Holohoax.

The report, authored by internationally-respected South African jurist Richard Gallstone, calls for credible investigations, admissions and corrections by the Israeli government and military – and suggests international war crimes prosecutions should be filed against the Israeli career psychopaths responsible if they do not – with the cases being referred to the International Criminal Court at The Hague.

Twenty-five countries voted for the resolution to accept and endorse the damning Gallstone report while six of the usual Western Zionist muppet and stooge sovereign nations were against any such castigation being levelled on Israel’s genocidal self-defence actions after receiving nasty phone calls from Lord Jakob Rothshite et Cie.

Both Israel and the Rahm Emmanuel-run White House opposed official endorsement of the report, falsely claiming it would set back their Middle East peace aims (which to date have left the Middle East in ‘Pieces’.)

The brown-nosing Palestinian Authority – which does not represent Gaza nor speak for the democratically-elected Hamas – initially backed deferring a vote, but changed its position after receiving intense domestic criticism – and a bomb thrown through President Mahmoud Abbas’ front room window.

Palestinians and human rights groups claim more than 1,400 Gaza residents were killed – and a Biblical legion injured and maimed – in the 22-day fish-in-a-barrel shoot-fest slaughter that ended in January, but Israel decries this and puts the figure at a mere kosher dozen (11).

For the record, throughout the entire blood and guts ethnic cleansing campaign a mere thirteen Israelis soldiers received minor injuries – ranging from scratches to light bruising – with one IDF trooper suffering a profound attack of conscience – following which he deserted and went off to join the Samaritans.

Before the vote in Geneva, from which 11 craven countries abstained, the Palestinian Authority representative tried to back-pedal and argued that the matter was simply about respect for the rule of law – which Israel had been ignoring since stealing Palestine from its rightful owners in 1948.

Earlier, the United Nations Human Rights and Wrongs Commissioner Heinrich von Yidstamper had insisted that now was the time to end the “culture of impunity” which pervaded every act of so-called ‘self-defence’ that Israel perpetrated when waging war against its purported myriad of Arab and Islamic enemies and hold them fully accountable for their war crimes.

Conversely the holier-than-thou Israeli government says that the Gallstone report is biased against God’s chosen people, and removes the right of nations to defend themselves against terrorists – which would include pre-emptive strikes against Iran.

The US representative at the Human Rights and Wrongs Council – Sheldon Slimeberger – agreed, saying that the resolution – which also criticised Israel for its recent bully boy actions in East Jerusalem and demolishing Palestinian homes – only made the prospect of a meaningful peace process more difficult if the rogue terrorist state of Israel isn’t allowed to carry on doing what it wants across the region.

Israeli authorities are continuing to demolish hundreds of Palestinian-owned homes and business premises in East Jerusalem, in defiance of international calls to stop such actions.

Israeli bulldozers yesterday destroyed the foundations of several other buildings nearby – described by some as including a ‘hospital’, and a ‘kindergarten’ and a ‘mosque’.

However while UN officials say such demolitions violate international law and raise serious humanitarian concerns Myron Scumstein, the Knesset’s Minister for New Settlements, claims all the buildings subject to demolition orders were built without Israeli permits – including the Dome on the Rock and the Al-Aqsa Mosque.

Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via TheSatireStall.Blogspot.com

2 thoughts on “UN Goldstone Report Hints Israeli War Crimes “Uncool”

  1. Yes I am ashamed – I watched Schindler’s List years ago – and was so gullible I belived it per se. More Holohoax propaganda.
    Did I give no thought to the children? – Actually I wrote the article for the children – the Palestinian children – of Gaza.

  2. This article is an outrage, you should be ashamed of yourself, haven’t you seen Schindler’s List? I WEPT so moving was it. Have you given no thought to the children?

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