DUP Unveils NI Brexit Strategy: Built Fleet of Unsinkable Ships at Harland & Wolff

The DUP have finally revealed their Brexit strategy.

Given past successes such as HMS Belfast, RMS Olympic, RMS Britannic and the Titanic, the ‘Democratic’ Unionist Party have unilaterally decided to make the Northern Irish shipbuilding industry the centrepiece of a post-Brexit UK.

Party leader Arlene Foster some what unintelligently notes:

Harland and Wolff’s ships are so strong, not even the Muhzzzlims can make them sink…

Ha ha, would you look at our wee Peter and Iris blushing there!

Sure these ships are going to be so tremendous, even God himself couldn’t sink them!

Tremendous! Incredible! You can trust me on that one!

Some have worried that between this economic idiocy and threatening to roll out the red carpet for Donald Trump, DUP voters will end up like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Arlene notes:

Ach now, sure it’ll be grand! Sure it’s only the dishonest fake news media that are taking the han’ out of our Arlene! Nobody does Brexit like the Arlene! Sure the crack will be mighty, so it will!

Let’s hope this will not be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

We’ve probably had enough mighty cracks now, to be fair…

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

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