DUP Unveils NI Brexit Strategy: Built Fleet of Unsinkable Ships at Harland & Wolff

The DUP have finally revealed their Brexit strategy.

Given past successes such as HMS Belfast, RMS Olympic, RMS Britannic and the Titanic, the ‘Democratic’ Unionist Party have unilaterally decided to make the Northern Irish shipbuilding industry the centrepiece of a post-Brexit UK.

Party leader Arlene Foster some what unintelligently notes:

Harland and Wolff’s ships are so strong, not even the Muhzzzlims can make them sink…

Ha ha, would you look at our wee Peter and Iris blushing there!

Sure these ships are going to be so tremendous, even God himself couldn’t sink them!

Tremendous! Incredible! You can trust me on that one!

Some have worried that between this economic idiocy and threatening to roll out the red carpet for Donald Trump, DUP voters will end up like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Arlene notes:

Ach now, sure it’ll be grand! Sure it’s only the dishonest fake news media that are taking the han’ out of our Arlene! Nobody does Brexit like the Arlene! Sure the crack will be mighty, so it will!

Let’s hope this will not be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

We’ve probably had enough mighty cracks now, to be fair…

Author: Wallace Runnymede

I've been writing satire for many years, and I've been published on many sites! Follow me on Twitter, and have a look at my books on Amazon! I've also had some poetry published by Sad Press recently: look out for 'Centrifugue!' I am also a founding member of the #AutisticDarkWeb: check the hashtag out on Twitter! Money's tight, so please consider dropping me $1 a month on Patreon (see link below). All my Patreon subscribers get certain benefits, including exclusive content, way in advance of anyone else!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.