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Roll over Romney: Paypal Think ‘Professional Services are Merchandise!’

Roll over Romney: Paypal Think ‘Professional Services are Merchandise!’

Yesterday Brian talked about his experiences with Paypal.

I recently had wages (i.e. not a small article commission) delayed for weeks. I was unhappy to hear that they can even upgrade the delay to 180 days, if they want!

(Fortunately, they didn’t. But that’s hardly the point!)

I’ve been searching the internet, and it seems that there are innumerable complaints about Paypal.

I mean, yeah … I’m pretty sure a lot of them will be frivolous. But I’m not so sure they ALL are.

I called a number of times to resolve the delay.

No joy.

I seemed to get told different things each time.

Anyone would think they were making it up as they went along…

Well, surely not!

Or else, you’d have sworn they had been fed some boilerplate distraction shit…

Oh, c’mon! You can’t be serious, right?

I mean, why would they?!

Ah… now wait. What’s this?

https://www.paypal.com/bg/webapps/mpp/ua/useragreement-full

It’s your User Agreement.

10.2 Actions by PayPal. If we have reason to believe that you have engaged in any Restricted Activities, we may take various actions to protect PayPal, a User, a third party, or you from Reversals, Chargebacks, Claims, fees, fines, penalties and any other liability.

This includes putting a delay on withdrawing your funds, as happened with me.

But ‘the boilerplate goes on…’

The actions we may take include but are not limited to the following:

c. Refuse any particular payment transaction at any time for any reason and will only be required to make available the fact of the refusal and the reasons for the refusal and how you may resolve the problem, where possible, upon request and provided it is not prohibited by law;

How did they do that?

One call among many:

Sorry, but your wages are goods & services. So we are having to treat your wages as if they were an actual physical object traveling from X country. That’s why we can’t let you have the money now.

I swear, I am NOT shitting you!

OK, I mean that shite just now was jut a rough paraphrase from memory but…

Ohhhh, come ON, man!

Hm! So, never mind ‘corporations are people.’ That’s the least of my concerns right now.

But ‘professional services are objects of physical merchandise?’

Even Mitt Romney isn’t stupid enough to think THAT shit is for real!

I’m going to quit now because I’m just too pissed…

>________________<

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This post was written by

- who has written 355 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Conspirator-in-Chief of the Peace Criminals Project: Neocon Surveillance& Satirical-Industrial Complex! Also published on a range of satire sites. Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! David Cameron says I am a #TerroristSympathizer. Islamists say I am an #Islamophobe. New Atheists think I am a #CravenApologistForPrimitiveBronzeAgeSuperstitions. MRAs & Alt-Right think I'm a #MatriarchalCuck. Others say I'm a #StraightMiddleClassWhiteBoy. And still more think I'm a #FuckingPleb. Just another edgy day at the Satirist's office! I am the Mayor of the Zero Fucks Community ;) @w_runnymede (Twitter) wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

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