Piers Morgan Determined to Fill Regis Philbin’s Vacancy

Piers Morgan recently took over the top spot on CNN when he replaced Larry King and the Larry King Live show with his own Piers Morgan Tonight. Following the entertainment route of Ryan Seacrest, he’s now setting his sites on each and every opening in the entire industry, coast to coast.

Piers Morgan not only stepped up to the challenge, but invited all to world to watch as he claimed that his show was going to be cutting edge, possibly alluding to the fact that Larry King Live had grown stale and Americans needed a shot in the arm of new talent, new interviewer talent that is.

But, the self-aggrandizing doesn’t stop there. Morgan has just announced that he would like to take over Regis Philbin’s spot on the Live with Regis and Kelly Show, which Philbin plans on vacating sometime later this year. When asked how he could possibly take on two shows at the same time, Morgan had this to say, “Why you silly git. One is in the morning and one is in the evening. How could they possibly be at the same time then? Right. I suppose then that is why I am the talent and you are, well, quite obviously not.”

An official Tweet from Morgan announcing his plans was not forthcoming because as Morgan puts it, “With all the important things I need to say, I just couldn’t possibly get it down within such small parameters dictated by a tacky Twitter Tweet.”

Accordingly, Morgan plans on announcing his intentions in a live news breaking bulletin on the Fox Channel Wednesday night at 8 p.m. Eastern time immediately preceding the season premiere of American Idol. When asked why he chose to announce his plans on the Fox Channel when his Piers Morgan Tonight show is broadcast on rival CNN and the Live With Regis and Kelly Show makes its home on ABC, Morgan said this:

“I’m Piers Morgan. I’m young, I’m brash and I don’t need the word “Live” on any of my shows to indicate that I am among the living.”

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? USE THIS COMMENTS SECTION TO PUT THE WORLD TO RIGHTS...