Kim Jong Un Blames “Dishonest Fake News Media” for Smearing “Tremendous” Missile Launch

Charismatic populist President Kim Jong Un recently delivered an inflammatory tirade about the bought-and-paid global MSM hacks who are deliberately lying about his recent “tremendous” and “unbelievable” missile launch successes.

Addressing a mass rally in Pyongyang, the President addressed the impoverished, embittered, and rabidly nationalistic mob as follows:

We… are… sick and tired… of this stuff.
Not one person. Noooooot oooooone peeeerson from the dishonest fake news media has given Kim Jong Un the credit for our tremendous missile launch.
Did you see how good our launch was?
Unbelievable.
Incredible.
Nobody launches missiles like the Kimmie.

As the hysterical mob shrieked in adulation, Kim’s faux-solemn face curled up into a cynical smirk.

The dishonest fake news media have never once credited President Kim Jong Un with our tremendous missile success.
We got a lot of good missiles here, everybody had a good launch, we’re all happy, we are going to make North Korea Great Again!

By this point, the President could barely be heard above the ecstatic screams of joy.

But you know what?

He growled, wagging an accusatory finger. Affecting a faux-solemn tone, President Kim spat out:

The… dishonest… fake news media… are lying about me every day. Never give the Kimmie any credit whatsoever. This is a tremendous presidency. Have you seen our missiles? Incredible. UN-BE-LIE-VA-BLE!

All of a sudden, a foreign journalist jumped out of his chair and started shrieking at the President.

Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! You’re accusing us of making fake news! We’re only trying to educate the masses! I just literally can’t believe you’re calling me and my colleagues liars!

Kim momentarily paused for effect.
Then he snorted:

That’s right, keep beating that guy. Beat him good. Maybe he’ll think twice about trying that one again. And, oh… By the way, does anyone know if he has some other people we can fix up?

Meanwhile, renowned truth-teller and entrepreneurial organizer Donald J. Trump denounces Kim’s inflammatory speech as dishonest and fake.

Image attribution:

By User P388388 on Wikimedia Commons , OppashiFile:Kim Jong-Un Photorealistic-Sketch.jpg, CC BY-SA 4.0, Link

Author: Wallace Runnymede

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