Israel: Petraeus was unfaithful to us

This reporter has confirmed some of the suspicions that CIA Director David Petraeus’ infidelity went well beyond his dalliance with Paula Broadwell. One well-placed source confirmed that, “My God, if we had to sack everyone in the military and intelligence communities for sleeping around, we would be decimated! Petraeus must have done something much worse.”

RIGHT: Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu is breaking up with CIA Director David Petraeus due to his infidelity to Israel. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

Some discrete inquiries led, as usual, to Israel, and a very high placed contact that I cannot reveal but to whom I will refer as B.B. Here is what he had to say:

    Barb Weir: B.B., you admit to some concerns about General Petraeus. Please elaborate.

    B.B.: As you know, Barb, the U.S. and Israel have a relationship that goes well beyond friendship. I’m afraid Gen. Petraeus betrayed that relationship.

    Barb Weir: What happened?

    B.B.: In 2010, he described Israel as a strategic liability for the U.S. because our struggle to liberate as much land as possible from Palestinians and our Arab neighbors is an obstacle to resolving the conflicts in Iraq, Afghanistan and other parts of the Middle East. He even had the nerve to say it in front of Congress!

“As you know, Barb, the U.S. and Israel have a relationship that goes well beyond friendship. I’m afraid Gen. Petraeus betrayed that relationship.”

    Barb Weir: So you’re saying it’s not true?

    B.B.: You’re missing the point, Barb. Truth is irrelevant. When you’re in a relationship the way the U.S. and Israel are, you can’t say things like that. We have to be able to trust each other.

    Barb Weir: I get it, but what about Israeli spying on the U.S.? Jonathan Pollard conducted the most massive spy operation in U.S. history for you guys.

    B.B.: Your president Reagan was the one who said “trust but verify”. We could never have sold any of that information to China and other countries without first verifying.

    Barb Weir: So you’re saying that Petraeus lost his job because he undermined U.S. support for Israel?

    B.B.: Marital infidelity is one thing, but infidelity to Israel is unforgiveable. Fortunately Paula Broadwell came to Israel as part of a cadet exchange program when she was at West Point, and ended up in a position to help. These exchange programs with the military and law enforcement are really paying off.

    “infidelity to Israel is unforgiveable.”

    Barb Weir: Then why did she also provide information on marital infidelity for Petraeus’ successor, Gen. John Allen?

    B.B.: Allen was the wrong choice, Barb. Fortunately, it’s all being straightened out now.

    Barb Weir: How was he the wrong choice? What has he said or done?

    B.B.: He’s OK, but there is a much better choice that should have been exercised, and now we can do that.

    Barb Weir: Really? Who’s more qualified?

    B.B.: Retired Congresswoman Jane Harman is being considered, and she’s the perfect candidate. She’s a dedicated Zionist, has always voted with Israel and has sponsored lots of legislation on our behalf. What more can the U.S. ask for than a CIA Director that is sworn to defend Israel’s interests?

Author: Barb Weir

Barb Weir is the pseudonym of a writer and social justice advocate in the San Francisco Bay Area.

6 thoughts on “Israel: Petraeus was unfaithful to us

  1. Sorry, Kilroy. It’s hard to write political satire these days. Reality keeps trying to be even more outrageous. Can you imagine the U.S. and al-Qaeda on the same side again? Yet there they are in Syria.

  2. So let me get this straight. You’re telling me that a guy who married the West Point Superintendent’s daughter and was promoted to top commander of the War while having no direct fire combat experience….HAD AN AFFAIR????

    Come on, satire has to have at least SOME plausibility in it. The idea of Petraeus doing anything but “polishing his own stars” is laughable. I’m not sure where this preposterous “affair” story idea came from, but nobody’s going to buy it. Imagining it is like imagining gollum on gollum sex.

  3. Israel is behind General Petraeus just like they are behind 9/11 and like been the orchestration of the destruction of Iraq. The Zionist Jewish State of Israel are going to destroy at the end the US and the EU.

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