Tag Archive | "undecided voter"

Undecided Ohio Voter Literally Chooses Winner


GlossyNews.com – Undecided voter Harold Merman of Niblock, Ohio has finally made his choice for this year’s presidential election. It should come as no surprise; he’s choosing the winner.

That’s right; whoever finishes first on November 6th has Mr. Merman’s full and unwavering support.

“Experience has taught me that it is always best to get behind a winner,” said Merman. “And that’s exactly what I intend to do. In short, I endorse the winner.” Read the full story

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Local Man Doesn’t Know Candidates, Votes Anyway


GlossyNews.com – Dayton, OH – Bill Jameon, local accountant and political apathetic, cast his vote today without knowing who the candidates were or what they stood for.

“I really just went by the sounds of their names,” Jameon admitted with a smile, “Obama just sounds cooler than Romney so I put a check next to that one.” Read the full story

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Local Man Ready to Get Out There and Make His Terrible Decision Count


GlossyNews.com – INDIANAPOLIS – After months of bitter debating, hard-line rhetoric and a torrent of political attack ads, local man Peter Hackley insists he is ready to get out there and make his terrible and ill-considered decision count Tuesday.

Basing his moronic and under-researched choice on nothing more than sentiments regurgitated to him by partial news media and talk radio hosts, Mr. Hackley – along with approximately 70 million other citizens – will commit the utterly profound mistake inside a designated local building at approximately 11:30 on Tuesday morning. Read the full story

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