Tag Archive | "recycling"

4K Glossy News Podcast 039 (4-18-16)


The 4K/UHD podcast is back again this week with even more great insightful than ever.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the April 18th, (the actual) tax day edition.

* Billion Dollar Business idea… just name your company something that actually rhymes with “orange” and you’ll be set for life. Read the full story

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Global Warming Producing Some Really Effing Awesome Weather


INDIANAPOLIS – Despite international concern over CO2 emissions and rising global temperatures, people from all across Indiana are discovering that global warming is, for better or worse, producing some really fucking awesome weather right now.

Fears over increasing sea-levels, ferocious natural disasters and far-reaching droughts were cast aside this afternoon as Hoosiers enjoyed a comfortable 62 degrees – unseasonably high for early January. Read the full story

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Unseasonably Warm Weather A Reminder Man Didn’t Recycle Bottles Last Month


INDIANAPOLIS – A recent spate of unseasonably warm weather, which has seen December temperatures peak in the mid sixties, has acted as a timely reminder that local man Dennis Kowalski never got around to recycling those damn bottles last month.

Though he routinely separates his trash into paper, glass, and general waste, the 34-year-old – reportedly overwhelmed by last month’s Thanksgiving – admits that he may have accidentally lumped everything together in the same garbage bag(s). Read the full story

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Global Warming is a Scientific Fact… Like We Care


It is now an established scientific fact that global warming is taking place around the world. You can see it everywhere. Glacier National Park is melting. Huge slabs of ice in the Polar Regions are dropping into the sea like so many gigantic ice cubes into some cosmic scotch and soda.

The ocean is steadily rising. Pretty soon if you live in Florida you’ll need an inflatable raft to get to your kitchen for a snack. Read the full story

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Posted in Environment, Opinion/EditorialComments (4)

Microsoft to Build With 360s


At a surprise press conference yesterday, Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft Corporation, announced that the monopolistic software company, infamous for its various Windows operating systems, is erecting a new building at its headquarters in Redmond, Washington State.

That was not the most remarkable part of yesterday evening’s statement, however.

“We’re going to use Xbox 360s that were unfairly blocked from Xbox Live or deactivated entirely by our updates to their firmware as part of the construction,” Ballmer explained. Read the full story

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Aerial Drones Surveil for Trash in Miami… Hey Look, The Olympics


Viewer interest in Olympic skeet shooting soared among Miami Beach residents following the recent passage of a city ordinance mandating recycling monitored by remote-controlled drones.

Aerial drones the size of dragonflies fly neighborhood reconnaissance patterns to scan microchips embedded within recycling containers to ensure residents maintain compliance. Read the full story

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Fruitcake—Alternative Fuel Source?


Bentonville, AR – A former Walmart employee and part-time nutty professor has begun research into alternative uses for the millions of fruitcakes that are returned every December 26th to Walmart. Speaking from the garage of his home on Vista Drive in Bentonville, Wallace Hadnough says that he got the idea of turning used fruitcake into an alternative fuel source when it was his job to throw mounds of the returned fruitcakes into the dumpsters out back. “Man, I’d bring shopping carts full of the stuff out to the dumpsters. I had to start wearing a back brace just to get through the day.” Read the full story

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Recycling Rules: Bin Bureaucracy


UK householders could be fined millions of pounds and face up to five years in one of Her Majesty’s overcrowded ‘sodomite paradise’ prisons if they throw food scraps and potato peelings into their wheelie bins under the EU’s draconic new ‘zero waste’ policy.

Residents will be henceforth forced to sift through their rubbish for anything that can be recycled, reused, rotted, burnt for electricity, given to Oxfam, sold at a car boot or advertised on eBay. Read the full story

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Posted in Human Interest, SocietyComments (1)

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