Tag Archive | "real estate"

5-Bed Neo-Classical for Sale, Prime Penn. Ave Location

Determined to put a dent in the national debt, the House of Representatives has voted to sell the White House.

The Senate quickly jumped on debt reduction bandwagon but held out for the less radical idea of simply mortgaging the White House, using the Washington Monument as collateral. The House reluctantly agreed that mortgaging the White House made a lot of sense. Read the full story


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News: Upscale Suburban Hillbilly Sells House

“Whole thing came as a shock really” said Clyde Dreyfuss this week, standing in the front yard of his fake Victorian cottage next to the ‘Sold’ sign. Why reporters converged on the usually placid subdivision just south of Memphis, TN still remains a topic of intense speculation at the local Starbucks, but they came.

Perhaps Whispering Woods resident Dr. Sri Pashavishnuama summed it up best when she said, “People have an appetite for ‘feel good’ stories. Read the full story


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Donald Trump Puts Glass House on Market

Yet another indication that Donald Trump is absolutely serious about running for President is the fact that he has just listed his all-glass NY mansion for sale this weekend.

The home, a stunning 8 bedroom, 9-1/2 bathroom home is one of the most unusual homes in the older, reserved neighborhood of Old Wesbury, NY.

Boasting “more windows than a cathedral,” Trump is allegedly selling the property due to recent events that he says could very well bring harm to his property, a prediction made a long, long time ago by his grandmother. Read the full story


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Realtor Can’t Suppress Laughter while Showing Rush Limbaugh’s Manhattan Condo

New York, NY – By now, most people have seen the news that Rush Limbaugh is selling his New York Penthouse condo and moving out of New York due to the high rise in taxes. He said he would move and he’s keeping his promise so far. Many wish he would have kept his promise to move to Costa Rica if Obama’s Health Care Reform Bill passed as well, but I digress. Read the full story


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Goldman Sachs Can’t Eliminate Mysterious Odor of Dirty Rats

New York, NY (GlossyNews) –The area around the offices of Goldman Sachs in New York City and New Jersey are void of pedestrian and vehicular traffic because of an overwhelming stench resembling the smell of dirty rats emanating from every part of the building and the pores of some of the top executives.

After almost six months of investigating, The New York and New Jersey health departments cannot pinpoint the source of the nauseating smell, but the search has narrowed to the top few floors of the Goldman Sachs buildings where the smell is so strong it’s beginning to eat the paint from the walls. Read the full story


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LEGO City Mayor Implicated in Sex Scandal

LEGO CITY, U.S.A. (GlossyNews) — Since its founding in 1978, Lego City has suffered through a history of controversial expansion, interminable redevelopment and what most residents consider “pure chaos.” Accusations of illicit gerrymandering — executed through back door political favors and flat out bribery — have plagued the region since the first bricks were laid. The rogue’s gallery of disgraced politicians and their abettors include four city planners, a multitude of government contractors, two banks and various assembly people. Read the full story


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U.S. Auctions States to Pay Off Mounting Deficit

WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — The national debt in the United States has reached a record $10 trillion, with the deficit continuing to mount as efforts to stimulate the economy out of recession grow. To pay off this enormous amount, the federal government has embarked on an innovative overseas real estate auction. “It’s true,” said embattled Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. “We’re selling individual states to foreign debtors.” Read the full story


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Real Estate Developer Creating Island Paradise from Garbage

PACIFIC OCEAN, 135° to 155°W (GlossyNews) — Entrepreneurs worldwide are being lured by the siren call of opportunity rising from the Pacific. The middle of the Pacific Ocean, that is.

The multinational realty conglomerate, Glutton Realty, has purchased the vortex of marine litter in the central North Pacific Ocean known as the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. The company plans to convert the trash into a new mega-island. With more acreage than the state of Texas at their disposal, speculators anticipate selling these “premium” tropical parcels at astronomical prices. Read the full story


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Donald Trump Statues Set to Fire Much of Scotland

A radical anarchist campaign group dead set against Donald Trump’s £1 zillion golf resort project at Menie in the coastal province of McTwatshire has dressed up statues around Scotland parodying the avaricious American tycoon.

The Menie Liberation Front group said the joke Trump masks, derogatory signs and golf clubs had been added to about 200 statues in Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Glasgow and Stirling. Read the full story


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