Tag Archive | "queen"

New Study: Fat Bottomed Girls May Not ‘Make the Rockin’ World Go Round’ After All


Ithaca, NY – After years of tireless research at Cornell University, professors have released a study that brings into question the long-accepted fact the late great Freddie Mercury, from the rock band Queen, proclaimed to the world – Fat bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round.

For decades, scientists went along with the wisdom that Mr. Mercury espoused in his song of the same name. But recently, many in the field of physics and astronomy have begun quietly questioning whether the lyrics are actually true in the real world or not. Read the full story

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Posted in MusicComments (6)

Prince Charles Concedes Queen Never Ever Going to Die


LONDON – Rumors have spread that during celebrations for Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee, heir apparent Prince Charles has finally conceded that the ruling British monarch is just never, ever going to bloody die.

Attending the festivities last year – which marked 60 years since the Queen took to the throne upon the death of her father, George VI – Charles cut a forlorn figure, as it slowly dawned on him that he will, in all likelihood, never get to be king. Read the full story

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Woman Guilty of Murdering Bohemian Rhapsody


INDIANAPOLIS – Following numerous eye witness testimonies, Indianapolis resident Joanne Benson has been found guilty of murdering the 1975 Queen hit, Bohemian Rhapsody, during a 6 minute ordeal inside a local bar.

More than 20 people have come forward to say they saw a “highly intoxicated” Miss Benson, 30, butcher the popular hit using a jacked microphone. A backing track recording is believed to have been an accomplice in the crime. Read the full story

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Posted in Strange PeopleComments (3)

Cheney Chases “Party of the Past” Out of His Closet


[UNDSCL’D] DELAWARE, WY – He may be the wise-ass who shoots his friend in the face; true, but he’s OUR friend-face-shooting wise-ass…

If you turn 180° from that public persona, you get this touching story about his childhood that he told at a campaign stop in 2004. A questioner asked him about any special parental memories he might have kept from his early youth. Read the full story

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Posted in Human InterestComments (4)

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