In yet another bad sign for President Obama, dictator unemployment numbers rose sharply again this month. Partisans at both ends of the political spectrum were quick to take expected stances, but all agree on one thing. Tyrants have been among the hardest hit in a global recession that shows little signs of abating.

In a nation that once thought itself insulated from the world’s troubles, Americans reacted with shock and sadness on news the despot downsizing trend strikes our homeland too. Burger King has been fired. Read the full story

The following is a letter recently received by his Royal Highness Prince Williams of England concerning his upcoming wedding to the commoner Kate Middleton:

Dearest, most exalted, Royal Highness Prince Williams,

It is out of the utmost duty that I write this missive to you before your day of marital conjoining with the commoner Kate Middleton. Read the full story

It was announced by Clarence House this week that as part of the 30th anniversary celebrations for The Prince’s Trust, HRH Prince Charles, and sons Wills and Harry will demean their Royal dignity to a fresh low in being interviewed by the oafish TV double-act of stand-up Geordie tossers – Ant and Dec. Read the full story

His Royal Highness Charles – the bat-eared Prince of Snails – is urging the common landless peasants of Merrie England to give up their cars in favour of walking or public transport to try to reduce carbon emissions and save large sections of the planet that he and his Mum own personally. Read the full story