Buckingham Castle (UK) – (SatireWorld.com)
Royal watchers were astounded after a royal edict came down from the Queen that forbids Prince Charles from attending any parade or inspection functions at any military bases across Britain.
This is in response to public furor aver a recent tabloid article published on Wednesday.
Many speculate it was in response to a widely distributed tabloid photo showing the Prince about to fondle a young recruit’s breasts while doing a troop inspection ant Gladsdown Military Base in Southern England.
PHOTO INSERT: Caught in the act! Prince Charles said he was merely checking for uniform roundness and firmness and the recruit had no objections once ordered to stand at attention. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)
The tabloid photo shows the Prince’s hands about to fondle a rather well-endowed female recruits breasts after she and her company were ordered to stand at full attention for the Prince’s courtesy inspection.
As the future king of England worked his way down the line of straight-backed troops he stopped in front of 20 year old Pvt. Catherine Sedge-Hodges and groped her size 34D breasts. Her comrades looked on helplessly as Prince Charles massaged the woman’s breasts for a full five minutes before completing his inspection.
Sargent-Major Peter Dunes-Mossbery said it was a ‘rather cheeky performance’ and added, “A bit of a sticky wicket for all concerned and bollocks as far as military discipline was concerned!”
Dunes-Mossbery is a 25 year veteran, a Gulf War warrior, and has trained young troops for almost 18 years.
Prince Charles defended his actions by claiming he was merely attending to what the Royal’s refer to as a ‘historic hands on quality control inspection of her Majesty’s troops.’
“It’s all rubbish! I just wanted to see if suppliers were scrimping on good quality woolen tunics and merely checked for woolen fabric weight and proper military fit.”
When reporters finally met up with Pvt. Catherine Sedge-Hodges, she candidly admitted that the Prince did promise her a Royal Service Medal that he would personally pin on her at Balmoral Castle in what the Prince called, ‘a rather splendid late night affair!’