Tag Archive | "illegal immigrants"

For Once I Agree With The Republicans – Immigration


I am glad Obama is finally standing up to the Republicans who have been kneecapping him since day one of his Presidency. It is just too bad that it isn’t over a better subject- immigration.

The truth is- the boat is full. We have enough people in this country already. We have massive unemployment with the people we have already. We don’t need anymore. We need to take care of the people we have here already- OUR people. Read the full story

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The New Smash Hit Film- ‘Dawn Of The Planet Of Illegal Immigrants’


The new Sci-Fi flick ‘Dawn Of The Planet Of Illegal Immigrants’ is taking the box office by storm! The latest sequel in the series that started with ‘Planet Of The Illegal Immigrants’ then continued with ‘Beyond The Planet Of The Illegal Immigrants’, ‘Escape From Planet Of The Apes’, ‘Planet Of The Illegal Immigrants Does Dallas’ and so forth. And the series shows no signs of slowing down. Read the full story

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Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan’s Anti-Drug Mantra “Just Say No” To Solve Child Immigration


The head of the U.S. Border Patrol, James Bratcatcher, highly stressed from dealing with the sudden influx of children and young mothers with children from Latin America, has claimed that a solution to the international problem came to him in a dream.

“The spirit of Nancy Reagan came to me in my sleep and suggested to me that I ‘Just say ‘No!’ when children approach us at the border asking for asylum, the same thing she once famously said to tell drug pushers who were trying to influence young people to start using drugs. Read the full story

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America’s Toughest Sheriff to Serve Border Duty in Syria


As violence continues to escalate in the Middle East, millions of refugees have been sent packing to neighboring countries. Many with no other choice but to illegally cross borders.

Not one to take illegal border crossings lightly, self-billed “America’s Toughest Sheriff” Joe Arpaio looks to extend his grip of power to borders in the Middle East beginning with Syria. Read the full story

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Republicans Force Illegal Immigrants out of the Country–305 Million to Leave Immediately


WASHINGTON D.C.–In a historic, and extremely surprising, turn of events for the land of the free and home of the brave, almost 90% of its diverse population has now found itself without a country or a home.

Yesterday, on Capitol Hill, Republican lawmakers successfully pushed through sweeping immigration reform with far-reaching implications. Read the full story

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Mexican Drug Gangs Boycott Arizona Over Immigration Law


PHOENIX, Arizona (GlossyNews) — Joining a rising tide of protest boycotts of the state, leaders from several prominent Mexican drug gangs announced their intention to avoid doing business in Arizona until the State Legislature reverses its controversial new immigration law.

“We regret the impact this decision will have on our valued customers,” said the spokesman for the group. “However, we simply cannot stand by and allow this patently illegal and un-Constitutional usurpation of Federal power to go unchallenged Read the full story

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Vortexes in Sedona, Arizona Appear to be Disappearing


Sedona, AZ (GlossyNews) -– Sedona, Arizona, once known world-wide as a Mecca for those looking for metaphysical experiences due to the unusually large amount of vortices (vortexes) located there, is seeing a string of unhappy visitors leave the various sites of Bell Rock, Cathedral Rock and Boynton Canyon totally dispirited and angry.

In the past few days, many seekers of peace and harmony who had planned on experiencing the powers of these spiritual wellsprings have gone away saddened and disappointed. Read the full story

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President Obama Detained at Phoenix Airport


Phoenix, AZ (GlossyNews) -– President Barack Obama was detained for a brief period yesterday at the Phoenix, AZ Airport by TSA officials while police determined whether or not to arrest him for not having proper identification with him at the time he touched down in their state. President Obama was in Phoenix to speak at a fundraiser for Democratic candidates willing to take on the Republicans in this year’s Senate race. Read the full story

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Native Americans in Arizona Vow to Deport All Non-Native Americans


Navajo Nation – The Navajo, Hopi, all Apache Nations and all other Native Americans who presently reside in Arizona have joined forces in an effort to show the haughty Arizona residents just exactly who has every right to be in that State.

Said Chief Standing Wolf, “it is not those of European decent who should be making the laws of this state, but we, the tribal people, who have been suppressed for too long. Read the full story

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Microsoft Opens “E-Gates” On Mexico / US Border, Windows Unavailable


Laredo, TX – Returning from a recent business conference on immigration in Mexico City, Microsoft Chairman William Gates, the world’s richest man, flew over what will become the new “RioGrande BushWall” near Laredo, Texas. Having told reporters in Mexico earlier, “I’m a big believer that freedom is a good thing,” he also noted that flexibility of movement for skilled workers in his company could be a little important. Read the full story

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UK Attorney-General to Prosecute Self – Que?


British Slime Minister Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown and his merry band of sycophantic bottom feeders at No 10 Downing Street today pronounced to an unruly mob of scandal-frenzied hacks from the Daily Shitraker and the Rumourmonger’s Gazette that they maintained “full confidence” in Attorney General Baroness Scumland of Walthamstow amid claims she illegally employed a Pacific Islands shemale – allegedly not permitted to work in the UK as her main educational and skills qualifications for visa entitlement came under the headings of ‘paddling dugout canoes’, ‘making ‘lei’ garlands of jasmine flowers’ and ‘collecting coconuts’. Read the full story

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