Residents of a community somewhere in southern California are coming forward with serious allegations of discrimination, forced behavior, and restrictions on personal freedom.

Compared by its residents to ‘prison’ the community apparently forces them to wear white robes at all times and to sing hymns for the community’s dictatorial administrator. That’s not the worst of it though – residents are not allowed to leave the premises… ever! Read the full story

Michele Bachmann appeared on CBS’s Face the Nation Sunday to cover her tracks yet again with the familiar line “Of course, that’s not what I meant to say. I was just trying to be funny.” Bachmann was trying to explain away some comments she made last month linking Hurricane Irene and the DC earthquake directly to God’s displeasure with America.

Bachmann is becoming known for her proselytizing on the campaign trail and admits it is becoming a bit of a problem.

“I know I should be able to tell when God is speaking directly through me and when he’s just trying to have a little fun,” said Bachmann. “But honestly, sometimes, as the words are coming out of my mouth I think ‘whoops, God’s pulling another fast one on me,’ but by then, it’s usually too late.”

To begin with, it would be nice initially because there would be no crime, no jealousy, hate, anger, poverty, starvation that you see all around the world… But then, each day would be just like the last — perfect.

This may sound like paradise to Christians, but it sounds very bland to me. With no challenges would I grow and develop as a person? If never faced with a problem to overcome, I know I would become complacent, even bored. Read the full story

Raisin, TX-The East Texas town of Raisin has found itself in a predictable predicament culminating from the holier-than-thou atmosphere that often pervades small towns across the United States.

When you approach Raisin, a town of 2500 that sits in a dale along a two-lane highway, a gigantic weathered sign depicts an intimate close-up of a strikingly Aryan Jesus on what is arguably one of his worst days. Read the full story

Panama City, FL. (GlossyNews.com) – School superintendent Bill Husfelt, who survived a gunman’s vendetta during a board meeting on Tuesday, claims God protected him when suspect Clay Duke opened fire on him and his colleagues. “God was standing in front of me, and I’ll go to my grave believing that”, he was quoted as saying.

Fortunately for Mr. Husfelt, he won’t have to wait until he’s six feet under to find out, as the Supreme Being sent out a divine press release today confirming that He did, in fact, intervene on the board member’s behalf. Read the full story

As a sign of His contempt for mankind and its ways, God has played the biggest practical joke of all time by allowing the worst exploiters of the economy and the human work force to be the only ones making a profit in the present recession.

Both Walmart and McDonald’s have had huge profits while the rest of the economy has floundered. The masses of people, fearing layoffs, foreclosures and looming poverty have been flocking to the renowned cheap mass market outlets to save their dwindling cash reserves. Read the full story

Washington, DC (GlossyNews.com): The Westboro Baptist Church, the controversial religious sect best known for protesting the funerals of slain war veterans and their “God Hates Fags” protest signs, announced a startling lawsuit against God in Federal District Court today.

According to Court documents, the Westboro Baptists are seeking “unspecified damages” against “The Lord God, Almighty,” for breach of contract under the terms of US Code Title 25, Section 3116. Read the full story

MT. ARARAT, ISRAEL —GlossyNews In a rather earth-shaking display today, God has brought the Burning World Bible Tablet to “My People on earth”, as he said in a poorly attended news conference called by Pope B*dict XVI by teleconference from the Vatican’s Starbucks. Read the full story

Coming off the self-proclaimed super success of his Restoring Honor Rally in Washington, D.C., Glenn Beck has reached the level of leadership needed to take his prophetic brand of hegemony to the next level. But is his firebrand flavor of beliefs different enough and believable enough to catch on with the majority of Christians who are tired of being lied to? Read the full story

Reports indicate Lucifer and the Almighty One may be close to a rapprochement that could bring Satan back to Heaven in a yet undisclosed role. St. Mark, spokesman for the Heavenly press office, continues to state that Lucifer left of his own accord and insists that there are no official plans to add anyone to the Heavenly trio.

However, in the last few months there have been rumors of discussions between the two sides. Insiders reached via email and ouija board have indicated that thumbs are prickling and an official announcement may be coming. Read the full story

Galley Leio, Australia – An amateur astronomer from Australia has photos to prove that God has a computer and He’s pretty good at photoshopping objects in the universe to change their appearance (God that is).

Take Jupiter for example. Astronomers claim that normal pictures of Jupiter show two distinct bands of dark cloud matter over the northern and southern ends of the planet, with the Giant Red Spot visible down by the lower dark band.

When Australian Astronomer Nicus Coper viewed Jupiter just last month however, after the planet came out from behind the sun, the dark band at the bottom was missing and the Giant Red Spot was redder. Read the full story

Recently, on the Bill O’Reilly Show, Sarah Palin made this statement “American Law Should Be Based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments.” It is not enough that the founding fathers saw fit to make God a part of their decision-making process when crafting this country’s laws, Palin believes that the laws of this country should be based in the belief system of one faith only, the Judeo-Christian faith. Read the full story

Utrecht, Holland (GlossyNews) — At the risk of raising the ire of religious straight people worldwide, Barend Hardwinkel, Gay Sexpert from Amsterdam, Netherlands has written in his new book, Move Over, Mary, that, “Yes, God is definitely gay.“

In an interview punctuated with controversy, Hardwinkel laid out his case:

“Look-I’ll make it easy for you. From day one God’s been on fire. She is very creative, which is a sure sign of gayness. Big poofy clouds, sparkly stars, sprinkly snow, outrageous sunsets Read the full story

ALBUQUERQUE, NM (GlossyNews) — God Almighty, sole owner and creator of the earth, has categorically denied a joint bid by Carlos Slim Helu, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Mukesh Ambani, Lakshmi Mittal and other billionaire club members to buy the planet. Read the full story

THE HEAVENS – In a rare public announcement, God Himself admitted today that Pat Robertson, who by all rights should have choked to death long ago on his own venomous rhetoric, continues to exist at His whim as an object lesson intended to teach humans not to tolerate bigoted, ranting nutjobs.

Robertson’s most recent tirade attributing a devastating 7.0 earthquake to a pact made between Satan and the entire island nation of Haiti seems to have precipitated the enlightening declaration made by the Almighty. Read the full story

Speaking ex cathedra from the Vatican today, Pope Benedict XVI, in response to the many rumors that God (aka The Almighty, Yahweh, Allah, Bhagwan, etc.) is dead, attempted to clarify the Global situation and put the rumors to rest once and for all.

In an interview with Fr. Guido Sarducci, editor of The Vatican Enquirer, Pope Benny revealed that he had had a long conversation with The Almighty regarding his apparent lack of interest in matters earthly. Read the full story