Tag Archive | "genocide"

H.H. Dalai Lama: War Crimes Are Matter of Context


Everybody knows that unlike all the “Abrahamic Religions”™ like Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Baha’i, Rastafarianism, etc., Buddhism is in a class of its own.

But why? Obviously, because people belonging to all other religions have practiced patriarchy, homophobia, racism, and the odd spot of religious persecution…

On the other hand, as every herb-smoking New Age traveler knows in their heart, Buddhism is the one religion on earth where there has never been a war, or any sort of persecution, prejudice or discrimination whatsoever.

However, this universally acknowledged common sense fact is becoming increasingly difficult to square with some of the more erratic rulings recently attributed to the entirely authoritative and infallible teachings of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, known to countless beer-addled student activists as H.H.

(No, I mean REALLY infallible! Not like the Pope, who is only called infallible; and who is not ACTUALLY infallible. Learn the difference, chip!) Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, ReligionismComments (5)

Japan Announces Invasion of Palau


Taiji, Japan – Looking to capitalize on recent international public relations success over last week’s dolphin slaughter in Taiji, Japan announced today its intention to invade and conquer the tiny pacific island nation of Palau sometime in 2014.

At a hastily organized press conference at the Taiji dolphin slaughterhouse, Japanese Assistant Director of Cultural Affairs Hideo Yakamura said “Invading and subjugating foreign countries is an historical and cultural tradition of Japan and important to the Japanese people. We intend to include all the traditional elements of a Japanese invasion including torture, rape, genocide and ethnic cleansing.”

When asked why Japan chose Palau instead of it’s more customary foes China, Russia or Korea, Yakamura chuckled “Well, that would be insane”.

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Posted in War Zone, World NewsComments (0)

Washington Redskins Change Name to Less-Offensive “Virginia-Adjacent Redskins”


WASHINGTON — In response to a recent outcry surrounding the Washington Redskins’ controversial name, which critics argue is highly inappropriate in this day and age, Owner Daniel Snyder has announced that he will change the name to the less-offensive “Virginia-Adjacent Redskins.” Read the full story

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Real Christians needed to help remove Arabs


The ad read “Real Christians needed to help remove Arabs” so I called the number and pretended to be a volunteer. A pleasant, cheery woman’s voice responded.

CAFI: Christian Alliance For Israel. Doing God’s work.

Barb Weir: Hi. I saw the ad for real Christians and I want to apply.

RIGHT: Christians do God’s will. (CLICK TO ENLARGE) Read the full story

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Posted in World NewsComments (1)

‘Serial Killer Supermarket’ Draws Controversy


A Cambodian chain of supermarkets has come up with an ingenious idea to deal with the countries massive population and turn a profit, but the new out of the box idea has been raising a few eyebrows and other facial hair pieces.

You didn’t hear wrong, but you also didn’t hear right. This is an actual thing, and while we’re not sure what it is will certainly not deter us from reporting on it, and ad naseum at that. Just for good measure.

The story is still developing, but it is said that ‘serial killer’ has become the most sort after occupation in Cambodia, people are dying for the opportunity.

See the rest of the story on YouTube, or scroll down for the video.

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Posted in Crime, Video NewsComments (3)

Rwandan General Killed Millions, Accepted Christ, Welcomed to Heaven


Due to what some non-theists like to call a “gaping hole in theism”, General Mbutu Ngariao, perhaps best known as the Rape General, third in command during the Rwandan genocide, has been able to eleventh-hour-apologize and slip his way into the Kingdom of Heaven.

“We recognize that the whole ‘just accept Christ as your Lord and Savior’ bit may be something of a loophole, but it’s part of our doctrine and the very way we’re able to bring so many into Read the full story

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Posted in Religionism, War ZoneComments (2)

World’s Last Palestinian Dies in an Israeli Zoo


FUTUREFILE Israel, 2023 – The world’s last Palestinian, an old female named Afnan, has died in an Israeli zoo, eliminating the chance that any Arab will ever again be referred to as a “Palestinian.”

Back in 2016, Afnan was found clinging to a crushed olive tree on land she claimed belonged to her grandfather. She was eventually brought to the zoo by an humanitarian group investigating war crimes against Israel during a recent dust-up between the two parties, that killed every wild Palestinian in the Gaza strip and West Bank and left scores of Israelis with minor injuries. Read the full story

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Khymer Henchman Claims Genocide ‘Hard Work’, Demands Freedom


Former Khmer Rouge prison chief Douche Bagg today shocked the UN-funded war crimes tribunal by demanding to be released on the final day of his trial for crimes against humanity, shoplifting and double parking in a restricted zone.

The UN’s Chief Prosecutor, Mr. Fuk Yew Tu, told reporters that Douche’s demand had left him “shocked.” Read the full story

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Israeli War Criminals – the New Nazis?


Israel’s Chief Minister for Genocidal Activities and former head honcho of the IDF’s ‘Brutal Thug’ Brigade – General Moshe ‘Boogie’ Slimeberg – canceled a recent visit to the UK due fears he would be summarily arrested on war crimes charges, according to the Knesset’s Office for Black Propaganda & Anti-Semitic Whingeing. Read the full story

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Posted in Top Stories, War ZoneComments (0)

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