Tag Archive | "gay rights"

Rick Perry/Johnny Cash Article: Long-Winded Disclaimer & Non-Apology

Within seconds of publishing my article on Rick Perry as future Last Republican President and Johnny Cash Wannabe, my covert stash of hatemail, hater-mail and hateful-male-mail was inundated…

With millions upon billions of complaints about what some people considered to be a disrespectful gay come-on to Rick Perry.

Well, hey! It does appear that for some of you ‘open-minded-within-reason’ folks out there, ‘gay’ and ‘disrespectful’ are pretty synonymous. Still, let me remind you what I said last time. Read the full story


Posted in Celebrity Gossip, PoliticsComments (0)

The case against marriage equality for left-handed people

It’s time patriotic, flag-waving Americans stand up for our God-given right to oppose any minority group that makes us feel slightly uncomfortable.

The time is now to raise arms – and legs – against the moral decay of this once great land. Join me in opposing the misguided policy of marriage equality for left-handed people. Read the full story


Posted in Opinion/Editorial, SocietyComments (1)

Repentant Paisley’s Heterophobic Hate Campaign

Disclaimer: Earlier version published on TheSpoof.com. I’ve now come round to a more enlightened view of the sensitive matters in question 😉

Given the passing some months ago of Lord Bannside, it’s only fair that I inform you about one of the last interviews conducted with him…

In order to straighten me out set the record straight. Read the full story


Posted in Human Interest, ReligionismComments (0)

Media Hungry Johnny Manziel says, “I’m Gay Too!”

Not to be shown up in this year’s NFL’s draft, Johnny Manziel, aka Johnny Football has announced that he’s gay too.

After the media frenzy over the St. Louis Rams drafting the first openly gay football player Michael Sam, Manziel attempted to grab back the spotlight by screaming to the presses, “I’m gay too!” while dining out with a beautiful brunette whom he claimed was his sister and definitely not one of his many alleged girlfriends. Read the full story


Posted in Human Interest, SportsComments (7)

Boy Scouts Allow Gays, Ban Hetero Troop Leaders

IRVING, TEXAS — In a surprise move yesterday, the Boy Scouts of America announced plans not only to accept homosexual troop leaders, but furthermore to ban heterosexuals from all leadership positions.

RIGHT: Founding Scout Master Freddy “Flip” Antouchyerson. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

In a statement released this morning, BSA Spokes-scout Scruff McDougal said of the policy change, “It was a difficult decision indeed. Just because the Pentagon and other leaders of the U.S. Armed Forces decided to let ‘the gays’ do battle on the front lines of horrific and deadly warfare against some of the most vicious warriors and savage, dogmatic killers in the worst, most unforgiving hell-scapes this planet has to offer, well, that doesn’t mean they’re ready to be scouts. As you can imagine, we really had to think this through. At the end of the day, though, we decided to let them try.” Read the full story


Posted in SocietyComments (2)

Missouri Hospital To Avoid Discrimination Charge By Canceling All Visitations

Research Medical Center in Kansas City Missouri is making a change to their visitation policies in an effort to avoid appearing discriminatory by eliminating visiting privileges for all patients.

The hospital has recently become the focus of attention by gay rights activists after having the domestic partner of a patient arrested, which is both gay and gaaaay. Read the full story


Posted in HealthComments (2)

The Clear, Undeniable Biblical Case Against Homosexuality (comic)

The Bible is right because it says it is, right? Well it actually doesn’t say that, per se, but it’s still taken as the gospel truth, even by atheists.

We know why Christians believe it, but atheists take it as the gospel truth because they know the gospels are hogwash at best. 15th hand accounts transcribed hundreds of years later, many contradicting, with many more left out entirely. Read the full story


Posted in Comics, ReligionismComments (0)

Biblical Definition of Marriage Unfortunately Defined (comic)

You know how those who thump the Bible hardest are also those who are the least likely to have actually read it? Well this comic points it all out.

The marriage equality movement isn’t seeking to redefine marriage any more than the past few thousands of years have already done so. Only this time, it actually makes sense.

Think you know the Bible? Take the GlossyNews Unbeatable Bible Quiz!

I mean, come on, what do you actually lose my allowing loving, committed, same-sex partners to wed? If it’s the “icky factor”, honey, I assure you, they’re already doing it either way. Is it because you feel so strongly about estate/inheritance taxes? Read the full story


Posted in Comics, ReligionismComments (0)

God Gay

In a stunning revelation that is set to turn the Christian world on its head, Almighty God has admitted that He is a homosexual.

The Lord Above also talked at length about the “steamy and tumultuous relationship” He has had with another male deity over the past 1,462 years, but would not be drawn on His lover’s identity.

The news will come as an enormous blow to a large sect of the Christian faith, who regard homosexuality as a mortal sin – something that God Himself was quick to refute in an emergency address to His believers this morning. Read the full story


Posted in ReligionismComments (0)

CPAC 2013 To Honor Westboro Baptist Church For Diversity Efforts


Posted in Making HeadlinesComments (0)

Sen. Graham Shows Support For Women By Removing Balls

South Carolina senator, and future gay rights activist, Lindsey Graham broke from his conservative party today with the unusual move of replacing the “truck balls” on his SUV with “truck ovaries” to show support for women’s rights.

Truck balls as you are most likely aware, are a common sight in backward redneck areas of the country. They are used to signify maleness by those who aren’t secure in their own sexual identity. Many of these men are eventually discovered tea bagging their Toyotas in the remote areas of their home towns. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (1)

KKK Allows More Gays than Boy Scouts

The Boy Scouts of America has announced that they are considering thinking about the possibility of forming an exploratory committee to allow gays among their ranks. But the Klan has been doing that for decades.

Boy Scouts of America has long been famous for three things. Merit badges, prohibiting gays from service, and gay sexual abuse among its rank and file. And we do mean rank. Read the full story


Posted in Kidz Zone, SocietyComments (2)

Should Gay Marriage Be Allowed Nationwide: Mrp Meh!

In case you’re wondering, that’s the sound of someone agreeing… or disagreeing, it doesn’t matter. The line has gotten so muddied that we all might as well be on both sides of the debate.

So should gay marriage be allowed, or should we leave it to they tyranny of individual states to make a majority decision that only affects the narrowest of minority, if not the straight-and-narrowest. Read the full story


Posted in SocietyComments (4)

Chick-fil-A Manager Hugs Customer Inappropriately

Raleigh, NC – Dennis Mitchell of Raleigh, NC claims he knew nothing about the controversy surrounding Chick-fil-A when he walked into a local store to purchase an order of chicken nuggets and a drink.

“All of a sudden, here comes the manager of the store from behind the counter, grabbing me and telling me ‘Thank you so much for your support. This means so much to me.’”

Mitchell claims the man looked like he was going to start kissing him, so he pushed the manager to the side, and ran out of the store without his lunch order.

“It was weird man. Was that guy gay or what?”


Posted in News In Your BriefsComments (0)

Bloomberg and the Gay Vote Sitting in a Tree

New York City Mayor Bloomberg made God-fearing GOP senators quake in their extremely heterosexual boots this week when he came out in favor of gay marriage and said he would do everything he can to support a bill brought before Congress. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

Nation’s Satirists Stumped by “Don’t Say Gay” Bill

NEW YORK, NY—Comedians and “Fake News” Correspondents across the nation have been unable to produce any suitable material to satirize Tennessee’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill that advanced in the state’s Senate last month.

“It’s like they created the bill just to f**k with us,” one editor from The Onion told reporters, “I mean, we can’t think of anything more absurd than the proposed law itself. Read the full story


Posted in Politics, Top StoriesComments (1)

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