Tag Archive | "British politics"

The Trouble with Corbyn Voters

Last month, Jeremy Corbyn won another significant victory in winning the Labour Party leadership election. He increased his share of the vote to 61.8%. This is especially notable because Labour banned any member who had joined in the past 9 months from voting. Therefore, his share of the vote is going to continue to increase for the next nine months as well.

The question still remains as to whether he can win a General Election. Clearly he is electable in almost every other situation. However, Labour trail in the General Election polls by a significant amount. How much of this is due to Corbyn and how much to the attitude of the rest of the Labour party is unclear, but it is difficult to extricate a party leader from responsibility. Read the full story


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Radical Marxist Ideologue IDS Threatens to Smash the ‘Bourgeois Treasury’

Radical moderate-political-Tory-ist and overgrown Trotskyite hooligan Iain Duncan Smith has finally rediscovered his radical roots. Frustrated with the petit-bourgeois false consciousness of the ideologically conditioned intellectuals (i.e. recent graduates!) in the civil service, he has threatened to smash, uh, ‘break up’ the Treasury. Read the full story


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2020 Vision: UK Election Prediction

Time to look back at an old piece of mine, and think about whether it’s just all about ‘way back then.’


In scenes mirroring the previous general election, raving hordes of self-righteous middle-class career decents have taken to the streets to protest the “Orwellian” hung parliament. Apparently the number of people who were eligible to vote, and who didn’t, is in the ten percents, at least! Read the full story


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British Politics Even More Boring than it Used to be Shock

British political life was never that interesting, but the election of lifetime dullard Jeremy Corbyn as leader of the opposition Labour Party has now sucked the life out of the business so spectacularly that the famous Houses of Parliament are in danger of being closed down and turned into a second hand carpet shop.

Newly-elected Labour leader Mr Corbyn is incontestably, irrefutably and without fear of contradiction the dullest man ever to appear in public. Anywhere. Ever.

If you thought debates about income tax thresholds and National Health Service waiting time statistics were boring, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Mr Corbyn, who has been in the job for only a matter of days (although it feels like years), has already endangered the careers of numerous sharp pencilled journalists with answers to provocative questions so staggeringly mundane that at least one senior news editor has had to be treated for a severe reactive catatonic shock.

Westminster medics have been overwhelmed by journalistic patients showing an array of reactive symptoms which are described as Catatonic Over-Reactive Brain Induced Necrosis (CORBIN). CORBIN produces much the same effects as being hit over the head with a heavy frying pan, but without the element of surprise or the useful ability to fry an egg afterwards.
Some of this is of course not true, but it is way more interesting than anything that has actually happened.

Delegates at the recent Labour Party conference reported that they were only able to survive the mind-numbing brainwipe that was Corbyn’s inaugural speech as leader by covertly playing free Pokies with no download on their phones and iPads whilst the Corbyn mumbled his way through the leftovers of previous leaders’ speeches that he’d found somewhere down the back of a sofa as this fictitious scenario continues.

The standing ovation at the end was nothing to do with the speech – it was an ironic celebration of former Prime Minister Gordon Brown managing to get four Lara Croft’s in a row. Poor old Gordon – he’s never been so popular – or so interesting.

“I don’t know” is one of Corbyn’s more spectacular public utterances, albeit one he saves up for those occasions when he really needs a headline grabber. “We’ll have to see,” is another.

This guy takes the whole idea of a sound bite and gently spoons mogadon into it until sounds and bites are something that might have happened once upon a time in a daydream, but it’s all a bit hazy…. Where was I… and what’s that frying pan doing here?


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Simon Cowell Finally on Song for UKIP

Simon Cowell used to be unjustly accused of being the UK’s nastiest and most longwinded self-styled culture expert.

So, in order to avoid the unpleasant stigma of being the nastiest man in Britain, he has finally decided to join UKIP.

Hmm… maybe he was inspired by the Fasc’ Factor event he judged not long ago? Read the full story


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Prime Minister Disraeli: 7 Hilariously Cutting Putdowns

1. Civilization and Savage Witticisms

Benjamin Disraeli, the English Frankie Boyle, is quite possibly the most aristocratically flamboyant and cutting Prime Minister in UK history. With perfect comic timing, he sliced through the pompous pretensions of his opponents, like a knife through last month’s beef haslet.

He once parried the insult of the Irish Nationalist Daniel O’Connell by saying: Read the full story


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“But Immigration is Complex…” Uh-uh! Not so Fast!

Coming up to the 2015 General Election, the inflammatory rhetoric of UKIP is a worrying feature of the complex political scene in the UK.

It’s always been complex, of course…

Well, we have had politicians who have expanded the suffrage and decriminalised homosexuality. Read the full story


Posted in Opinion/Editorial, Politics, World NewsComments (2)

BNP Boss Falls Victim to Lynch Mob

It was a moment 5,000 mixed race and ethnic Brit’ protesters – stark-bollock naked, daubed in traditional blue woad and massed outside the London BBC TV Centre – had spent much of the day trying to stop until they got bored and switched to overturning double-decker buses, throwing battle axes at the drawbridge and drowning expense-cheating MP’s in the piranha-infested moat.

But pig-eyed British Nasty Party leader and all-round Aryan superman Nick Griffin finally strode fearlessly – jackboot heels clicking in true neo-Nazi fashion – Read the full story


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