Tag Archive | "big oil"

Freedom Industries Explores Its Freedom to Pollute W. Virginia Waterways


Freedom Industries, the more-important-than-humans industry conveniently located next to the major river supplying water to nine counties of a rural portion of West Virginia, has contaminated the drinking, bathing, teeth brushing, clothes washing water of thousands of people with a coal foaming agent that leaked out of their plant. Read the full story

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Posted in EnvironmentComments (4)

Environmentalists Unite To Support Effing Fracking In California??? What The Frack?


A strange new development has occurred in the continued battle behind the oil industry and environmentalists over the use of fracking. Fracking, for those unfamiliar with the term, is the new art of pumping chemical laden water back into an underground fissure that has already had the oil removed from it.

The fracking forces existing fissures wider allowing companies to remove more oil. Unintentionally the chemical water used has often been showing up in drinking water afterwards. Not to mention that there have been mysterious earthquakes occurring up in places following the fracking where earthquakes have never been before.

The strange new development is that there are now some environmentalists who WANT fracking done in Central and Southern California. That’s correct, you have read that right- there are some ENVIRONMENTALISTS who WANT FRACKING done in CALIFORNIA (ie. THE LAND OF HIPPIES, LIBERALS AND ALL THINGS CONSIDERED UNGODLY AND COUNTER AMERICAN (except Ronald Reagan of course)).

That is the equivalent of Jesus Christ wanting strippers at the Last Supper. In fact, members of the Sierra Club itself are not only requesting, but demanding the fracking.

The strangeness of this demand from the most political of green organizations has prompted a number of private investigators into checking into the situation. Strange revelations resulted. Uncovered was a dastardly plot by the environmentalists to sell oil leases on land all along the San Andreas Fault line.

As investigators dug deeper they realized to their horror that the perpetrators wanted the fracking to cause an earthquake that would dump all of Los Angeles into the Pacific Ocean. It turns out that the environmentalists, normally expressly against all forms of environmental pollution, realized that if they appeared to give in a little, they could appeal to the greed of the oil companies and in the process get rid of California’s biggest environmental disaster- the city of Los Angeles.

The sordid web went ever deeper. It was exposed that all of rural Central and Southern California was sick of the way LA was lording over them and buying up all their open land to gain water rights. They saw sending LA to the bottom of the sea as a plus element for California, giving it a watery resting place just like the legendary lands of Atlantis and Mu.

The investigators, astounded by their discoveries, nonetheless kept their information under wraps. As shocked as they were, they agreed that it was a case of justifiable sabotage and promptly began buying up land along where they estimated the new Pacific beachfront would be.

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Posted in TechnologyComments (7)

The United States of Corporate America


SANDPOINT, Idaho (GLossyNews) — In a bold statement today, a jubilant Sarah Palin announced her plans to rename our country. “We live in a great country. And if we want to see things get done, if we want to support our economy, we need to recognize who the real leaders are. It’s not our government, it’s our country’s corporations that really make our country great. In honor of all the great businesses of America, I propose we rename our country, “The United States of Corporate America.”

GOP representatives all across the country have denied any knowledge of Palin’s proposal, but one spokesperson close to Palin, who spoke only on condition of anonymity, stated that drafts of this proposal have already been introduced in Senate and House subcommittees. Read the full story

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Posted in Biz News, PoliticsComments (3)

British Petroleum Celebrates Earth Day with Huge Oil Spill


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Posted in Making HeadlinesComments (0)

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