Post-season Baseball Starts, If Any One Even Cares

Somewhere- The baseball post season is starting despite weak attendance and poor ratings. Team owners and players insist people still care, even with the lack of attention.

Some teams are playing in some places for the World Series. Recently, Major League Baseball executives ,assuming they knew what fans wanted, opened up the post-season so half of all MLB teams could compete for their shot at the pennant.

RIGHT: Sometimes the look on one’s face is enough to tell the whole story. This is perhaps not that picture. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

Bud Selig, responding to reporters questions explained “We understand baseball has gotten marginalized as out dated and old fashioned, the ratings will testify to that. So we here at the MLB with the team owners decided it was time to kick it in to over drive and respond to the demand, more baseball teams and more baseball games!”

The collective moan stemming from the press room could be heard for miles.

So half the National League are playing each other, and half the American League are playing against each other, and then the winners are going to play for the World Series, even though each league name implicates one country.

Baseball’s last fan rejoiced in his bed at Sunny Vista’s Retirement Village in Miami, exclaiming “This is exactly what I’ve always wanted since I was a boy. More post-season baseball. It took many years, but my prayers have finally been answered.”

Everyone else in the country are gearing up to be inconvenienced by the interruptions in their regularly scheduled television programming and waning attention span while watching Sport Center.

A poll was conducted asking pedestrians in various American cities of which team they were rooting for in baseball, 15% said New York Giants, 25% were undecided, and 59% were surprised baseball even existed, with a +/-2% margin or error.

Selig concluded the press conference by singing take me out to the ball game, although the only actual words he remembered to the song were “Cracker Jacks.”

Author: Jason Velez

I'm a stand-up comedian, author of "The Alphabet of Everything I Hate," an artist of sorts, and a rouge writer who's got a weird thing for oxford commas... like, really weird. Like three x's weird. Follow me @velezerraptor on twitter

1 thought on “Post-season Baseball Starts, If Any One Even Cares

  1. My fiance watches baseball to the extreme. I couldn’t care less. Hours of sitting around watching guys pat each other on the but and adjust their junk? No thanks.

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