New Jersey(USA) – (SatireWorld.com)
Imagine having millions of adoring fans who eagerly rush out and and buy your albums and pay heady prices for concert tickets, all in an effort to enrich your bank account to unimaginable balances.
If you’re living in New Jersey, the cost of star worship comes high even for non-fans of rock stars who just might be simple, hard-working citizens.
PHOTO INSERT: Jon Bon Jovi shows little surprise after one of his honey bee’s stings him in the butt. His neighbor over on the poor side of town was more than surprised too when he received his property tax bill of $12,000 for his humble double-wide trailer sitting on a 1/4 acre lot.
Many fans expect exceptional musical talent and glittering star-power when attending a rock concert, including a sprinkling of liberal ideals and causes supported by the likes of native New Jersey sons, Jon Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen.
Born and raised in New Jersey, both rockers support many causes for the ‘little guy,’ from anti-war songs, to programs that define the working class. After all, aren’t they really just one of them?
Yes, they wear the denim flags of the working class, drink the beer of union members, and at every chance display their humble roots from such benign working-class places as Asbury Park and Sayreville, New Jersey.
Just in case you aren’t aware, New Jersey has the distinctive reputation as being the highest property taxed state in the union with personal property taxes way in excess of the nation’s norm, but to some of the liberal elitist, that burden is really for others to pay. You know, those mean-spirited one percenters!
For example….A typical bedroom community home could have property taxes that exceed ten thousand dollars a year levied on an average home placed on a small quarter-acre lot, with both house and lot costing a mere $250K. Imagine what a palatial estate with hundreds of acres would bring in for the tax man? Well, if you’re a well-heeled liberal elite rock star, you live by a different creed….Let someone else pick up the tab.
Perrenial blue-collar singer Bruce Springsteen personally owns hundreds of acres in New Jersey that surround his not-to-humble abode. Local police vigilantly patrol the area to keep people away and to enforce all traffic laws. The fire department is ready and waiting to protect the singer’s personal belongings and beautiful home. The paramedics staff the department with skilled men and women, plus, an array of expensive equipment, ready 24/7 to render aid and save a life. Local schools educate young people, allowing them to prosper and to facilitate their future lives with a proper education.
All are possible by the hard work of local citizens who scrimp and save to pay their hard earned dollars toward property taxes. All it seems except one of those rockers-with-a-concious like Bruce Springsteen.
Living on several hundred prime acres of New Jersey land, the Born In The USA singer pays only two-hundred dollars a year in property taxes. Thats $200.00!
Now, remember, an average quarter-acre lot with a modest home for those hard-working heroes in Bruce’s famous songs pays an average of ten grand per year!
So, how does he do it?
Well, if you’re famous and rich it’s easy. Get an accounting firm like Dewey-Cheatum & Howe and list your home and acreage as ‘agricultural’ or a ‘ heritage farm site.’ Then hire a live-in farmer to grow organic vegetables and presto, you’ve saved millions and can sell the crop at a huge profit.
Another famous New Jersey rocker is Jon Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi has about a hundred acres of prime New Jersey real estate. But only pays about one-hundred (that’s $100.00) a year in property taxes. OK, I know you’re really interested now, so how does he do it?
I’ll give you the buzz…It’s simply bees!
Yes, having an apiary, or colonies of honey bees, allows you certain property tax exemptions. I’m not sure, but I can’t remember a single lyric in any of Bon Jovi’s songs that relate to the love of bees.
So folks, there you have it. The inequity of taxes and the flagrant hypocrisy of some of our most revered liberal entertainers. It’s almost too much to bear, given these are two of the most prominent flag bearers of the elitist liberal establishment.
So, next time you hear them play a tune that’s an ode to the workingman, or a liturgy of praise for the down trodden union worker, or perhaps an anti-war song tolling the disparity of the poor soldier going to fight a war that only protects the rich and brings bounty to war profiteers, ask yourself who really underwrites these guys and their rock star lives.
Oh, and please pass the honey and some of those oranically grown blueberries.