“Hopefully, One Day I’ll Finish The Job By Capping Paul And Ringo” – Mark David Chapman

Chilling words indeed from the slayer of former Beatle, John Lennon – but this is exactly what a former cellmate of the Catcher In The Rye freak alleges was said to him during a private conversation with Chapman.

“We were talking about gun control,” said former inmate Abe Johnson, currently out on parole. “Chapman was defending the Second Amendment to the hilt, saying that every American citizen – no matter how screwed up in the head they may be – should have the right to bear arms.”

He went on to say that if his parole board hearings went favourably, he intends to finish what he started by stalking and shooting Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, thus putting the Fab Four to bed forever.

“He went on to say that failing that, he’d probably target some other high profile musical celebrity, like Barry Manilow or Billy Joel. But not Earth Wind And Fire because there are too many of them. Unless he can get his hands on an Uzi or an AK – in which case it could be ‘game on.'”

Johnson vehemently denied that he was out to cause trouble for Chapman, or to garner publicity for himself on the pending publication of his book: “When I Get Out Of Here I’m Gonna Kill Somebody” (Psycho Press)

Johnson went on to say that held no strong views one way or the other in the great gun control debate, and insisted that he only carries a gun ‘because there are a lot of crazy people out there, and I need to protect myself from all that.’

Finally adding: “In my opinion, it isn’t the psychos out there we need to be wary of. It’s the frauds who write and perform songs about love and peace. Those people deserve to die screaming in a hail of bullets. As does anyone who disagrees with my point of view.”

Johnson then muttered something about having to leave to attend a psychiatric appointment, and left the room. Rumours that he was seen outside the building howling at the moon have so far not been confirmed.

Author: Skoob1999

No time for this! The bus is coming! Skoob - English, terminally bewildered, from Manchester, but without the Oasis style monobrow. And a United fan. Currently unemployed due to idleness.

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