Sam Harris Drives Dinosaurs out of the Schools

Prominent atheist and achingly non-woolly intellectual figure Sam Harris has persuaded some Democratic Senators to try to stop The Flintstones from being shown in science classes.

Not only that. Teachers used to allocate some general class time just before vacation to watch such cartoons, to help the kids wind down. But they can’t even do that now.

Yes. According to Harris, the scientific evidence about human beings evolving much later than the extinction of the dinosaurs is not only compelling…

But also entirely delegitimizes showing children any television programs that misleadingly and inaccurately depict humans and dinosaurs living in the same period.

Naturally (!), the confusion necessarily resulting from such willful contempt for scientific method and reasoning can only have pernicious consequences.

But some teachers are upset. One distraught and tearful teacher wailed:

I’ve just cried and cried. I just don’t understand it. We weren’t trying to indoctrinate the kids™, we were just giving them something to entertain them once in a while.

I mean, I swear, I really swear by all that’s good and holy (sorry, Sam!), we didn’t mean to turn them against science and rationality…

I mean, we were only trying to show them something fun. And it wasn’t even in science class, either!

Seriously, when I found out the harm we were doing, well, I’ve never been so ashamed in all my life.

I mean, if I’d only known, I would never, never have done it™. Not once in my life, not ever! Oh, it’s just too much to bear! Boo hoo hoooooooo!

Harris was absolutely unmoved by these comments.

Well, it’s a bit late for tears now, isn’t it? This teacher obviously should have thought about that, before he started poisoning the minds™ of these kids with his pseudoscientific creationist propaganda™.

I have absolutely no sympathy whatsoever for someone who would deliberately and knowingly spread disinformation about our origins™.

You know, like those Republicans who want to arbitrarily and coercively dictate™ what can and cannot be shown in a science class.

Yeah, I mean, we didn’t win the Scopes trial so that people could start saying, “you can’t show this in science class, you can’t talk about that…”

Oh. Whoops.

Edited version of http://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/magazine/13467/atheist-sam-harris-keep-dinosaurs-out-of-the-classroom

Still, speaking of flamboyant ideological ideas, I’ll be back with some new, original material in a few days.

Watch this “space…”

That’s right, there’s a hint 😉

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

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