Jesus Christ Hates Elvis (comic)

This comic was inspired by an actual conversation my mother had with actual missionaries about three decades ago.

She was feisty then, she’s still a pain in my ass now, but none of that means anything in comparison to the greatness of heaven offered by our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

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If she takes their path, and by some odd chance they’re right, that means she’d never get to see Elvis again… or her father. The Kingdom of Heaven is pretty exclusive.

On the other hand, Satan doesn’t judge you, accepts you no matter what, accepts everyone into his fold, and killed less than 1% of the humans God did in the Bible… he’s kind of a bro that way.

And while hell may be hot, it’s a dry heat, so it’s really not all that bad. Better than eternity with a handful of whining nuns and billions of children who died before they reached the age of judgment.

Brian is on temporary personal leave but has left us with an innumerous backlog of comics to share until his return. Check back for daily updates.


Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.

2 thoughts on “Jesus Christ Hates Elvis (comic)

  1. Art is terrible, but the joke rocks socks. My mom hated them too, but she wasn’t so clever.

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