‘Fearless Romantic Charmer’ (Creep?) Marries Bradford Lass After 100 Unexpected Cafe Visits (1/2)

‘Fearless Romantic Charmer’ (Creep?) Marries Bradford Lass After 100 Unexpected Cafe Visits (1/2)

A hearty Yorkshire lass from Bradford has finally married the lad of her dreams, after the dogged persistence of her beau-to-be finally won her round.

Lucy Scappaticci, who works at the Baker’s End Cafe, first noticed Wee Davie Singh when he staggered in one morning after a heavy work session of World of Warcraft.

At first, I thought the guy was just another one of those occasional anime boys who crawls in at 11 am, begging for a bacon sandwich, after a long night of Carlsberg ‘n’ Warhammer.

But I was surprised to see him turn him again that day for lunch.

And again.

Oh and dinner too.

Five times.

I’m surprised he could actually get all that down him; the way he kept sneaking off to the toilet, with half his meal in a plastic bag, you would almost think he was trying something sneaky.

But my wee Davie is a warrior! I know ‘e wouldn’t do owt like that to fool ‘is Lucy!

Sooner or later, things got even romantic.

I actually clocked that he had visited my cafe more than 100 times in a month. No lad has ever done that for me before! Ooo! It must be love! He even started attending my Church for morning worship (all three sessions!), evensong, and all the morning prayer sessions.
The fact that I only go about once a fortnight didn’t faze him in the least!

Well, just on the off chance, you know!

The best thing of all is when I suddenly had a knock on the upstairs window at 4 am; the poor bugger had followed me home around 6 pm, and had finally plucked up the courage to speak to us!

“You poor lad,” I tutted, as I gently scolded him. “You must be freezing out there!”

And our Wee Davie, does tha know; by ‘eck, but didn’t ‘e shake the bugger all night long!

Any wedding bells in the air?

Find out next time! 

Catch instalment two of this enthralling love story tomorrow:

7am, Seattle time, 10am Eastern Standard Time…

And 3pm GMT, if you’re in God’s own country, way oop North!


Image attribution:

George Hodan



This post was written by

- who has written 549 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Sub-editor of Glossy News. Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! wallacerunnymede@gmail.com You can buy my satire and poetry ebooks from many online stores, including Amazon. Make sure you like the Glossy News and Wallace Runnymede pages on Facebook!


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