BALTIMORE, Maryland (GlossyNews) — The Obama Administration, in another unprecedented exercise of governmental control, has ordered the Consumer Protection Agency to implement sweeping new safety codes to protect children in shopping carts. The strict new rules will carry the force of law across America, but they are implemented by the Consumer Protection Agency – a body of appointed, not elected, officials who answer directly to the President and his cabinet.
The laws, which go into effect November 1, 2010, are designed to protect children and are based on a recent study which showed that over 24000 children are admitted to hospitals each year from accidents resulting from shopping cart incidents. While the reforms are meant to protect children, they severely hinder the rights and responsibilities of parents to control and monitor their own children’s behavior.
As of November 1st, any child riding in a shopping cart on the grounds of a private enterprise, such as a neighborhood grocery, would have to conform to the following requirements:
– Possession of a “rider’s license”, with picture ID, which the child would obtain by passing a written test. In the event the child cannot read, or cannot read English, a test can be administered in picture form.
– The child’s fingerprints must be taken by, and on file with, the local authorities.
– The child must wear, at all times, a special helmet specifically designed to protect from certain low impact injuries associated with riding in a shopping cart. These helmets would be available for parents to purchase and would be approved by the CPA and carry a CPA approval label.
– The child must wear, at all times, a specially designed seat belt with sholder restraint, which would protect the child in the event of a low speed head on, or side collision and prevent the child from being thrown from the shopping cart.
– The child must wear, at all times, a pacifier held firmly in their teeth, or a temporary rubber “mouth guard” to protect their teeth from impact.
– The child must carry with them, whenever riding, a physician’s note stating the the child has no medical conditions which could be complicated by riding in the shopping cart. These would be presented upon demand by any authority figure in the business or government official making the request in an official capacity.
Children who do not follow the above requirements will be asked to leave the place of business.
In addition, the following restrictions will be required of the parent or guardian piloting the shopping cart:
– Possession of a shopping cart “driver’s license”, with picture ID which the parent would obtain at the local Food Stamps agency. These would cost 45 dollars to defray their cost, as well as supplement the Obama Health Care Initiative, and would require both a written test, in English, and a performance test conducted within 48 hours of the written test.
– No more than 2 children can be monitored by one parent or guardian at any time.
– Parents will “sign out” the shopping cart after having completed an inspection of the operational equipment as well as the safety equipment prior to the child being allowed to enter the vehicle.
– Parents will demonstrate, if reqested, that they have appropriate medical and dental insurance coverage for the child in the event of an emergency arising from the use of the shopping cart.
– Parents or guardians must always have two hands on the shopping cart at any time the cart is in motion.
– Cell phone use during operation of the cart will be prohibited, as well as any listening or texting device.
Parents who fail to follow the above rules could be fined up to $399.00 per offense and be asked to depart the premises.
The only exception to the above rules would be those families whose personal, religious or cultural convictions would not permit them to follow any or all of the above reqiurements. In those cases, the parent or guardian will be issued a small card denoting their exception. The cards are transferable between family members and do not contain names or identifying data in order to preserve their privacy. In addition, foreign visitors or resident aliens can also obtain the exception cards directly from the business they are shopping at.
In addition to the above, shopkeepers would be required, at their own expense, to purchase safety and warning labels from the US Government Printing Office and have those affixed to every shopping cart. Shopping carts in which the red plastic riding compartments resemble automobiles will require full cage roll bar system before any child can enter.
Failure to label, or properly equip carts will result in a mandatory $5000.00 fine for each cart which is not properly outfitted.