How Mountain Dew is Really Made [Video]

Mountain Dew is the Appalachian vitamin drink, but how do they really make it? The answer may very well surprise you, but it’s not that bad. You’ll see, it’s pretty good and pretty much safe.

Playlist of How It’s REALLY Made Videos


Mountain Dew beloved for its healing properties, is a popular beverage but how do they really make it?

It all starts in a $300 million factory like this one where hydration scientists take locally sourced water reclaimed from the environment and create a base using all-natural ingredients like toluene, red phosphorus, ether, herpes simplex (A&B), lithium which is a salt, and iodine crystals crystals, of course, have healing properties.

Watch it here…

They combine them using techniques, methods and systemic processes.

Careful attention is paid to keep the chemical goo off the workers hands and prevent them from contracting Soda Lung.

The syrup is sent over to the H-Ulk Smasher for mixing, but there’s a few more steps before it safe to drink.

The distinctive flavor is created using psuedo-ephedrine, Acetone, chlamydia, sodium hydroxide and anhydrous ammonia, they mix that with castoreum, which representatives from the Pepsi Corporation strongly suggested you not look up on Google.

That’s Castoreum, a popular flavoring, that you shouldn’t Google. Castoreum

Other natural flavors are added as well. With all the ingredients smooshed together, the super-mix begins.

Ultra-high pressure vats like this one run 30,000 watts of electric through the amalgam for four minutes and 20 seconds; to fuse the elements, compounds and reactions in between.

Luckily, this leaves them only slightly radioactive. It’s not dangerous, it’s about the same radiation you’d get as as flying in an airplane… continuously… for a dozen lifetimes.

Over the next few days, cobalt and lead chambers diffuse much of the radiation until it reaches what those business crushers at the USDA call “people survival” levels.

The mixture is carefully dripped into cans and bottles on its way past your toddlers teeth and into that green out-goo we’ve all seent in diapers.

The by-products from the process are extremely hazardous, so they are safely discharged into nearby waterways where they spread out giving free nutrients to flora, fauna, fish and birds, making them safe and beneficial to the environment.

And that my friends is how Mountain Dew is made.

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Royalty-Free music “Silly Fun” by Kevin MacLeod —


Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.