New York – In the refined New York home of Philip Glass, the great American minimalist pianist, we discussed the finer points of symphonic and chamber music over cheese and 10-year old Merlot wine.
Q: When you first began playing the piano, who were the composers that you found most influential?
A: I really enjoyed the compositions of my pet rock, Barney. I used to let him lay on the keyboard and play a single note for hours on end. It was an epiphany…
Q: Now what about…
A: …In my pants.
Q: Now what about your schooling at… My, isn’t that a beautiful sunset? And at eleven in the morning.
A: Yes. Yes it is. I’m sorry, I seem to have left the heat on. It’s getting a little sultry.
Q: Thank you, I thought that was just me. And we do seem to be experiencing some weather, now. Is that hail?
A: Yes, it appears that it is. How strange. And thunder as well.
Q: How interesting. Now your newest concerto, how did you HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!
A: THERE ARE FLAMES EVERYWHERE!
Q: IS MY HAIR ON FIRE? IS IT ON FIRE? MY HAIR?
A: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH….
Q: WOULD YOU PLEASE LET GO OF MY FOOT?
A: ….AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH….
Q: WHERE IS THE EXTINGUISHER?
A: …AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…
Q: DO YOU EXPECT YOUR NEWEST ALBUM TO HAVE MORE CHROMATIC UNDERTONES THAN…
A: …AAAAAHHHHH….
I was going to comment on this, but now that the world ended, it seems kind of pointless.