Venice Beach, CA – GlossyNews.com: Lindsay Lohan may have kicked the drug habit, but it seems ex-girlfriend DJ Sam Ronson is too powerful to quit. It’s being reported that, fresh from rehab, she’s out jonesing for more of that mysterious Ronson love, as she’s moved right in to the Malibu house next door to hers.
Lindsay Lohan, famous for being infamous, is rumored to at one time have been a child actor, starring in films like “Herbie, Fully Loaded,” “Freaky Friday”, and that one about the jewel thief, I think.
Today she’s known for only one thing, and that’s being a coked up “Lohan” of a mess, and among a pack of messed up Lohans, she still excels.
Lindsay is telling anyone who’ll listen that she had “no idea” her new rental pad was right next door to ex-girlfriend and super-dyke Sam Ronson, even though it’s speculated that Lindsay is footing the bill for that swanky crib as well.
According to one source close to the story, perhaps, if we had asked, we might have heard that, “It only makes sense we’d pick exactly the same house, but in mirror positions. We complete each other like a lock and key. I sure hope she brings me over a welcome [fish] basket.”
Lindsay says she’ll move out, if that’s what Sam really wants, but what “Sam really wants” is to have become famous for shtooping a less crazy celebretard. Lacking a time machine and even modestly sub-good looks, that option seems entirely off the table.
Sam Ronson, contacted by Glossy News for comment, appropriately declined to even hear us out beyond three words. Best decision she’s made in years, if you ask me.