Actor Gary Coleman Finally Buried In Brief Ceremony

HOLLYWOOD (GlossyNews) — Citing a lack of sufficient funds for a proper burial, the ex-wife of actor Gary Coleman sold photos of the little guy’s casket to three tabloid magazines for about $500.00 in order to send him off right! Last week the checks finally arrived and little Gary was laid to rest.

The unique blue and white casket was on display at Morton’s Funeral Home and Steakhouse located in downtown Los Angeles for a brief viewing prior to internment at Hal’s Quickie and Cheap  DIY Cemetery. Mourners were advised in advance to bring along a shovel to complete the do it yourself burial.

Coleman’s ex-wife, Shannon Price, says she’s pulled out all the stops to give the popular actor the best funeral that she can and hopes that fans and friends remember to send her ten dollars to be forwarded to her just-in-case trust fund.

Price claims she placed a few treasured things of Gary’s into his casket…His favorite 17 inch elevator shoes, a photo of Richard Nixon and himself, a partially eaten box of Milk Duds, and a unopened copy of Short People Gazette.

Price is pushing Congress for a new National Holiday in remembrance of Gary Coleman… Short People Day will be celebrated on each Leap Year since it falls in February… The shortest month.

Editor’s Note: It has been alleged that Mr. Coleman’s will specified that his remains should be scattered over the Hollywood hills, but it was also very specific that he did not wish to be cremated. Securing permits to spread his chopped remains may be difficult, but we have it on good authority that this is exactly the sort of concession afforded to ‘walk of fame’ celebrities.