The Many (questionable) Roads To Success

So many are struggling in our current difficult economic times where the few controlling the financial strings of the country have the rest of us dancing around just to survive while they watch from the porches of their grand estates grandly amused.

In order to help those so afflicted (approximately 90% of the population) we offer this famous series of success videos and books designed to show you examples of what other individuals, groups and nations have done to win wealth for themselves.

The Many Different Ways To Success Series:

The Vladimir Putin Way

Slither your way up in the KGB, then jump over to politics and, using the sneaky tactics you learned in the Russian secret police use them to run the country Stalin style while pretending to the world that you are a democracy. Also take over the oil company belonging to Russia’s richest man and set up your cronies to run it with you as its secret head.

The North Korean Way

Run your country into the ground with an insane ideology to the point where it is virtually dysfunctional, is a pariah among nations and your people are having to eat grass to survive. Then become proficient at counterfeiting U.S. hundred dollar bills, next use the few resources you have to develop an atomic bomb so that you can pretend to be a contender on the international scene. Scream and holler and put on big acts of bravado to intimidate your neighbors and get them to send you aid for your starving people that you can spend on bringing in more booze for your shelves.

The Mexican Way

A – Sneak over the U.S. Border and take a job there then scream about how badly America treats illegals.
B – Have a monopolistic oil production process that keeps the money in the highest echelons of the country and everyone else poor.

Democrat Way

Mooch off every government handout possible and off those who have worked hard to get what they have.

Republican Way

A – Develop a religious based dogma, defend it to the death no matter how absurd it is.
B – Align yourself with people who have vast political religious or financial power and then kiss their butts incessantly until it leads you to greener pastures.

Chinese Method

Copy exactly U.S ways of making money, then hire a few thousand of your fellow country men and work them like slaves to undercut the Americans.

Wall Street Way

Take great risks that will only profit you at other peoples expense, then when it goes sour throw the costs upon the taxpayer. At the same time scream and yell how much of a patriotic capitalist you are and how much you hate socialism.

The Alaska Way

Build a reputation upon how independent and self reliant your people are, then leech off every government subsidy and handout there is.

The Religious Way

Brainwash your people, filling their minds with nonsense until they don’t even have the common sense to function normally anymore, then siphon off them like a lamprey off a whale.

The Taliban Way

destroy every visage of modernity and kill everyone not like you. Then, when society is thoroughly undermined, claim how holy you are while you are taking it over.

The Donald Trump Way

Inherit a fortune, then make more by investing in every worthless, greedy, superficial type of enterprise there is like casinos and pompous hotels. Also learn how to make money off being pompous and superficial yourself.

The Koch Brothers Way

Inherit a vast fortune and use it to bend an entire nation to your wants and your will.

Author: rfreed

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at