Hamilton brought history to a new generation. Rap Trump seeks the same at a time when the original has returned to the Disney Channel. Kanye West plays Donald Trump [T]; Queen Latifah plays Nancy Pelosi [P]; and Lin-Manuel Miranda plays what should have been a fully transparent Robert Mueller [M].
[T] Every time I’m in Vegas,
They screaming like I’m Elvis.
Just wanted to design hotels —
Being President? Whatever sells.
[P] Instinct leads me to another flow —
Ya tried to make a sis feel low;
Ya know all of that gots to go;
Ya called Hill everything but a ho.
[M] While you live
When you die
Who tells your story?
When you’re true
When you lie
Who tells your story?
[T] In all its greatness and glory
Fox not Fake News tells my story.
[P] On a Real News scale 1 to 10
You’d have to listen to CNN.
[M] Now, let’s get right down to it,
Not stuff you’d need to intuit.
We’ll lay out just how you blew it,
An obstructionist saying “screw it.”
There certainly ain’t no disputin’
That you been in bed with Putin.
Not to mention financial lootin’.
Sleaze? You incarnatin’ Rasputin!
[T] Mueller, you Donkey Fool,
A MULE talkin’ out of school,
Like all the Dems, an IQ runt —
Attacking me with a witch hunt!
Oh, say can you blue staters see.
My peeps’d take a bullet for me?
They give me votes & sympathy
As long as I act like Robert E. Lee.
If Lyin’, Paul Ryan had followed suit,
Nance’s speakership would be moot.
But, alas, he didn’t have the huevos:
The House in ‘18? I couldn’t save us.
Hire ‘em; fire ‘em; should fire the House.
Already, staff, cabinet and spouse.
Would Justices too go quiet as a mouse?
Why don’t they love me? I’m not a louse!
[P] Me too! Me too! You trouble me true,
Always picking the wrong thing to do.
Pulpit Bully’s the right name for you,
Sick tweets from the throne in your loo.
Me too! Me too! I’m not your bitch;
For that you already got Mitch.
Liar, liar, your pants on fire,
The country desires you to retire.
Your Covid-19 mask’s over your eyes,
Your reaction to its impact, all lies.
Drink the Clorox, but we’ll tell it true:
Race baiting, you calling it “Kung Flu.”
Vanity, love of Hannity, sheer insanity.
For Coulter you even take a knee.
Posse of Rocket Man and Crown Prince,
Loving tyrants while making allies wince.
Hire ‘em? fire ‘em? Did you vet staff?
Constant dismissals make people laugh.
But then again, we didn’t vet you:
In Russian, might have said “nyet” too.
[M] I wish I had been in the room —
The room where it did happen.
Your mouth might not keep flappin’
If a truth-teller watched it happen.
Then, the world might not be crappin’;
And, a happier verse we’d be rappin’.
[T] No one who mattered was in
The room where it happened.
No one really knows how the game is played,
The art of the deal; the way to trade.
I was in the room when it all went down;
Don’t listen to Bolton, a lying clown!
Hire ‘em; fire ‘em; like reality TV —
You, Mueller, the House, and Pelosi.
We really needed an emergency wall.
Ms. P. should have heeded that call.
The border corridor’s facing disorder;
My patience is getting shorter.
Didn’t get love shutting down the gov;
Nor giving the House Gang a shove.
Hire ‘em; Fire ‘em; knocked L out of Kelly;
Dumping Comey and Brennan made good telly.
Bannon and Mattis and so on with Sessions —
Liars all — no need to hear confessions.
[P] Hire ‘em; Fire ‘em. My God, indeed!
Nearly 300 appointees already relieved.
Fired, resigned or choosing to quit,
Most realizing your leadership wasn’t legit.
Who speaks for the dead? You, a zero?
At least when it comes to John McCain.
Piling on a deceased military hero?
Was 4-F for bone spurs or being insane?
Erection of a wall, your overriding selection —
Like “Crooked Hillary” — your voter confection.
Understand! Your borderline racist memes
Point alt-righters to Charlottesville extremes.
[T] Hard core Evangels buy my Supreme Court,
Even though not knowing a tart from a tort.
I might as well be the Marquis de Sade
If I stay on attack against Roe v. Wade.
Hire ‘em; fire ‘em; I fired deficit talk.
I run up the debt like a spending hawk.
Rob from the poor and give to the rich,
Life for a lefty’s a MAGA-nificent bitch.
I’ll crush BLM and all the George Floyds,
I target Marxists as if I’m on ‘roids.
And Sleepy Joe will go down this Fall —
I’ll dance again at my Inaugural Ball.
[M] Fire HIM! Fire HIM! No time to cower
He obstructed justice and abused power.
Fire HIM! Fire HIM! Don’t show confusion.
Illusion? No, stone-cold guilty of collusion!