Frank Turner Song Parody: Tony F***ed the Country

Whatever happened to Britain?
It’s like we’re scared of phantom enemies to the point of bedpissin’
Even if the danger is minor
The press and gov scaremonger
With their endless agitprop bullshit!

Yo, bigot! Anyone who looks less white than you
Makes you wonder if they’re immigrants or Muslims or Jews
But I’m tired of the endless hatred
And yet the media hacks are always stirring shit!

You ever wonder how we ended up so scared
To the point where it seems there’s no peace anywhere
And the gov it says there’s no need for peace anyway (!)

Well don’t pretend and act surprised
That all those blazing WMD lies
Are making the whole world frown and cross to the other side
It’s all because of one man
Tony fucked the country!!!

It seems that while the Tories hug their warmongering swag
While feminists get persecuted for ironic hashtags
It’s a time of staggering hypocrisy
When violent, swaggering MPs are the good guys
And citizens are criminals, the only ones deserving
Of all of the contempt!

There’s an ever-darkening horizon
Speech regulation, Big Data and the Snooper’s Charter
Yet for every rash and drunken teenage troll
There’s a butcher in a tux who would trade his own daughter
For any given price!

We’ve had years of an aggressively militarised state
Bombing children and widows because it makes PR look great
But as soon as it looks like there might be some hope of justice
They swan away for a plum envoy job
And tell the likes of you and me that life’s a bitch!

It’s no surprise that the Iraq war fuck-up
Didn’t make our glorious leaders finally grow up
But when idiots think their neighbour is hiding a bomb under their trousers
Is it any fucking wonder our democracy’s in danger of collapse?

And it’s no surprise that all the carnage
Didn’t come fully into play until the Boss had left us
But let’s not forget the guy who sold us out for the sake of his glory
Cos it’s just one lad…
Tony fucked the country!!!

(Parody of Frank Turner: Thatcher Fucked the Kids).


See also parody of Gareth Gates and ‘Stupid Mistake.’

Author: Wallace Runnymede

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